I did a vaginal examination on Friday. And that's not a really douchey way of saying "I got some", but I did an actual vaginal examination on a woman who was going to give birth later that day. It was interesting because you can feel the baby's head and the dilation, and it was good to actually do something like that instead of just read about it.
I moved down to Galle now so I'm at a different hospital that doesn't even have a maternity ward, so no more gross stories.
I have an epic weekend to recount, but that will not happen today because I have to go back to work in a bit, but just as a teaser, the title of the next post will be, "The Weekend with all the Leeches"
-Kurt
1 comment:
I hope you didn't have a "Stand By Me" leech experience (the foreigners definitely won't catch that reference).
The wedding had some interesting moments this past weekend. To tell them about the baby, we gave mom and dad "WI Grandpa" and "WI Grandma" T-Shirts. Mom thought it was a joke and we were doing it because of Killian. Aunt Gloria was the one who asked if we were trying to tell them something. We actually brought Aunt Gloria to tears (it was like making The Undertaker cry).
The next day we were down by the pool after we cleaned up from being on the beach. I was fully clothed and my pockets were full of my normal accessories (wallet, cell phone, etc.). When I was standing near the water, Dad tried to throw me in a few times, but I thought he was just kidding around. After all, pool water destroys cell phones and soaking someone's wallet is a rotten thin to do. Underestimating Dad's ability to take things too far, I continued to stand by the pool. Five minutes later, Dad pushed me into the water from behind. I must've had fire in my eyes when I jumped out of the water because no one stood in my way when I went after Dad. He latched on to a thin piece of railing, which saved him for about ten minutes. He pled with me that, "I'm your father, not one of your friends." This appeal to my conscience didn't work. I was temporarily insane. He realized that I wasn't going to stop until he was wet too, so he emptied his pockets out and went in the water. I now have a new cell phone, but my number is the same.
The wedding took place at the same time as the Patriots/Colts game (it was hyped as Superbowl 41 1/2). I felt bad for sneaking out of the reception constantly for extended bathroom breaks until I noticed that a full third of the wedding was doing the same thing. The game lived up to its hype, although football's new evil empire ultimately prevailed. I'm now telling everyone my theory that the only way the Patriots won't win the Superbowl is if it's Brett Favre's last game. I think that condition creates an "all bets are off" scenario similar to Barry Alvarez's last game for Wisconsin.
We all took numerous shots at the wedding, which claimed at least one casualty. In true Schapira tradition, the Matron of Honor (Amy) went down shortly after the wedding. Now you're not the only one, Kurt (although Amy waited until 9:30 to destroy herself, whereas you were rallying at about 9:30). People kept telling me that I had to take Keith on in a drinking contest. I told them they were crazy because I'm not half the drinker Kurt is and I'm not half the human being that Keith is. Be that as it may, no one would do a shot of Wild Turkey or Tequilla with me. I consider that a victory by intimidation.
On a side note: We were eating at a restaurant the night before that had a jackelope head hanging on the wall. Lisa asked what it was. I told her that it was a jackelope. Then Lisa asked if jackelopes were mean. It was at that point I realized that she didn't know they were fake. In replying to her question, I offered a lengthy explanation about how they were timid like deer and that speed was their best defense. The antlers are mainly used for breeding and determination of dominance within the herd. Mom and Dad started shaking their heads and chuckling, which made Lisa realize that she was the butt of some joke. We then let her in on the truth. I was a little surprised that Lisa hadn't seen them before and wondered who could possibly be that naive to believe in jackelopes. Then, at the reception, I started telling the story to Lori Upton and I answered my own question... I bet the Europe girls would definitely buy off on the jackelope package as well. You should download a picture and show it to them. Tell the girls that they get in your garbage a lot back in the states.
They kicked everyone out of the reception at the hotel at 9:00 sharp. I guess they have strict noise rules there or something. The tiki bar on the beach even closed down at 11:00 (if they were in Madison, I don't think they'd be in business very long). After the wedding, everyone went to a local bar and played shuffleboard. Uncle George is a ringer (I found out that he's a closet pro at virtually every bar game known to man). Lisa and I beat him and Chris the first game, and he immediately demanded a rematch. He then beat us three times in a row over the next two nights before we defeated him. I want Kurt as a partner next time if we meet again. We have to defend Madison's honor. I guess this just gives us an excuse to go to Lucky's (as if we've ever needed one before).
The other epic matchup was in mini golf on Monday morning. The course had live baby alligators on it (behind cages, of course). There was this hole that went in a fake cave and it had a little cage door in the corner. I wondered what was behind the door, so I walked up to it and peered in. I looked down just in time to see the mother alligator about a foot away (through the bars of the cage). While I was in no real danger, the sight of an alligator at your feet is enough to raise the pucker factor.
Can't wait to hear about the leeches. Wish you would have been at the wedding.
Craig
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