At the cricket match they had 100 rupee beers, which is like having dollar beers, but at a major sporting event. Stefan, the German guy, had quite a few and had to be removed from the stadium by another friend before the police got involved. Also, whenever Sri Lanka did anything good, all the Sri Lankans would yell and cheer. It didn't sound like normal cheering, though. It sounded like the Ewoks when they took down an AT-AT.
I know my roommates were expecting more from me on this front, but I really haven't written about diarrhea much. Let's change that. This past week I've been having some "digestive issues". It has been painful and not fun. All the bacteria in my colon decided to have a Christmas Eve party. I laid in bed feeling as though I was stabbed in the stomach with a knife every 15 minutes. I took 5 dumps in as many hours. I actually started getting pain from my sports hernia from all the pushing. It kinda reminded me of a 5 hour labor, but I didn't get a child in the end, just more feces. I think our mom put enema juice on our curry.
Christmas Eve Mass was pretty cool. It was at midnight with a Bishop and was half in English. After the Mass, they had carols outside and the kids got gifts given to them from a guy dressed as Santa. I thought he should have been dressed as Jesus, but that might not have been appropriate. They also had fireworks. Yeah, yeah, sparklers, some little bottle rockets, and even a few bigger bottle rockets, but that's not all. Remember, I'm still in Sri Lanka. They had fountains. Those are the things you set on the ground and shoot sparks in the air. These were not little, nor were they a safe distance away from the crowd. They were set off with no warning close, but not within the crowd. I actually saw a child running while sparks fell around her. It was fantastic.
I leave here at 11:30 tonight on my 4 hour, 90 mile journey to the airport. The roads here suck. Since I packed, I'm no longer worried about the weight of my bags, but I'm still getting to the airport obnoxiously early: 4 hours. I can wonder around that or lay in my room. The airport will likely be cooler at least. Then it's a short 12 hour flight to London, 2 hour layover, 9 hour flight to Chicago, probably some sort of a layover, and then a 45 minute hop to Madison. I leave Sri Lanka at 7:30am, and arrive at Madison at 10:30 pm. I'll keep track of how many times I have to use the bathroom and if they have to make an emergency stop at Dubai because one of the flight attendants swears there's a biological weapon on board.
Thanks for those of you who've read my blog and left comments. I'll see you all eventually.
My last note will be to my family, who has been very supportive: Chicken burrito, black beans, mild salsa, cheese, and sour cream.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wedding #2
Michelle and Marieke were talking the other day and Michelle asked Marieke how much her bag weighed. Marieke replied, "70 liters." This massive misuse of units bothered me quite a lot, so I said, "That's like saying 'I'm 4 days tall." The only exception is that guys are allowed to measure water temperature in units of length.
On Monday Kate and I went to a Buddhist wedding, which was pretty cool. She was wearing a sari and I was in a shirt and tie, but since we were the only white people there, there was a lot of staring at us. All the women wore saris, but I think only immediate family (and me) wore ties. some of the guys wore jeans. There was quite a discrepancy in the level of effort that went into dressing for this. We sat around talking for a while and I think one of the cousins got dispatched as our guide because she was one of about 9 people who spoke english at this wedding. She was nice, and we chatted with her friends and her for most of the time. They played the most random musical selection I've ever heard. They started with every slow song from all of our high school dances and then into some Sri Lankan music, then back to English. Then I hear, "Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside." I laughed out loud. The actual ceremony was all in Sinhala, so I had no idea what was going on. About 50 of us packed into a regular sized living room and nobody bothered to turn on a fan. It's ok, it was only 90, they need at least triple digits to get hot here. I was sweating profusely. They did some stuff with leaves and the guy leading kept checking his watch. There was a little staircase that the bride and groom walked down at exactly 11am, so I think that's what all the time checking was about. Also, there were about 15 cell phone rings during the ceremony, 5 by the best man's. I think Craig would have killed me. And not only did the phones ring, people answered them. There seems to be no social norm for cell phones here or even for talking while other people are, it's kinda uncomfortable. Anyway, after we left the living room/oven, we went back out into the sun to chat some more. I noticed that all the men older than 18 or so were at the house down the hill. Eventually, one of the girls asked if I wanted a beer. It was a little after noon, and I didn't want to be rude, so she took me to the other house. Apparently, all the men were down there getting smashed. I had a beer (which are 675 mL here, so it's like 2 and a half beers from home) and they were offering me another. I hadn't eaten much and didn't want to be drunk, so I went up and ate instead. The food was good, but since this is Sir Lanka, we all ate with our hands. I only got a little on me. After that we sat in the sun some more and we wondering when the dancing would start. Not long after, a group of guys, obviously drunk, cleared off a dance floor and started dancing. In true wedding fashion, they were complete with the obligatory "Drunken Uncle". He was hammered and kept trying to dance with Kate. Don't worry, I was a good date and stood to the side taking pictures. We danced and sweated like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee (that's an old one, but I still like it). It was pretty fun and was intensely Sri Lankan, so it was good to have a nice cultural experience. They had a "homecoming" party for the bride and groom 2 days later. We didn't go to that because we had work, but I'm sure it was nice.
I've been in the Intensive Therapy Unit this week, which is pretty interesting. Japanese Encephalitis is some scary shit. Also, leptosporosis. (bacterial infection gotten from rat urine while working in rice paddies) A woman was admitted today with burns over 63% of her body (2nd and 3rd degree) from "suicidal burns from kerosine oil". She looks absolutely awful and is in extreme amounts of pain. The burns happened on November 26th. And she still is in constant pain. I don't even think she's on any analgesics (It's pronounced "ANalgesic", the pills go in your mouth.) They had to wash her today and she screamed the entire time. I think I would have, too.
Yesterday I started hearing this weird echoing noise while Kate was talking. I thought it was her, but no, it's me. I fell asleep for like a half hour listening to music with only the bud in my right ear, but oddly enough, my left ear is hearing weird. I may have a tumor. Anyway, every higher pitched noise sounds robotic. If someone said, "Roger, roger," like the droids from Star Wars, it would sound exactly like the movie. But only my left ear hears that, my right ear hears normally. So, when the nurses at the hospital talk, or the burn victim screams, I hear it normally, and then with a demonic echo attached. It's really weird, but I kinda like it, as long as it goes away soon.
There's a cricket match between England and Sri Lanka that's been going on for the past few weeks. They play 3 matches over a course of 3 weeks because eatch match takes 5 days. That's kinda the only cool thing about cricket, it's always going on during the week. It's like March Madness or the Olympics, except much more boring to watch. It's still cool to see though because in Galle you can sit on the walls of this huge fort and watch the match. Someone said about 9,000 English people came here to see the match. Cricket is actually more boring than baseball, but since it's new, I can stand it enough.
Good luck to everyone who still have finals. And, for everyone who's done, have a rum and coke for me. Dustin, have 9 Long Islands.
-Kurt
On Monday Kate and I went to a Buddhist wedding, which was pretty cool. She was wearing a sari and I was in a shirt and tie, but since we were the only white people there, there was a lot of staring at us. All the women wore saris, but I think only immediate family (and me) wore ties. some of the guys wore jeans. There was quite a discrepancy in the level of effort that went into dressing for this. We sat around talking for a while and I think one of the cousins got dispatched as our guide because she was one of about 9 people who spoke english at this wedding. She was nice, and we chatted with her friends and her for most of the time. They played the most random musical selection I've ever heard. They started with every slow song from all of our high school dances and then into some Sri Lankan music, then back to English. Then I hear, "Two trailer park girls go round the outside, round the outside, round the outside." I laughed out loud. The actual ceremony was all in Sinhala, so I had no idea what was going on. About 50 of us packed into a regular sized living room and nobody bothered to turn on a fan. It's ok, it was only 90, they need at least triple digits to get hot here. I was sweating profusely. They did some stuff with leaves and the guy leading kept checking his watch. There was a little staircase that the bride and groom walked down at exactly 11am, so I think that's what all the time checking was about. Also, there were about 15 cell phone rings during the ceremony, 5 by the best man's. I think Craig would have killed me. And not only did the phones ring, people answered them. There seems to be no social norm for cell phones here or even for talking while other people are, it's kinda uncomfortable. Anyway, after we left the living room/oven, we went back out into the sun to chat some more. I noticed that all the men older than 18 or so were at the house down the hill. Eventually, one of the girls asked if I wanted a beer. It was a little after noon, and I didn't want to be rude, so she took me to the other house. Apparently, all the men were down there getting smashed. I had a beer (which are 675 mL here, so it's like 2 and a half beers from home) and they were offering me another. I hadn't eaten much and didn't want to be drunk, so I went up and ate instead. The food was good, but since this is Sir Lanka, we all ate with our hands. I only got a little on me. After that we sat in the sun some more and we wondering when the dancing would start. Not long after, a group of guys, obviously drunk, cleared off a dance floor and started dancing. In true wedding fashion, they were complete with the obligatory "Drunken Uncle". He was hammered and kept trying to dance with Kate. Don't worry, I was a good date and stood to the side taking pictures. We danced and sweated like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee (that's an old one, but I still like it). It was pretty fun and was intensely Sri Lankan, so it was good to have a nice cultural experience. They had a "homecoming" party for the bride and groom 2 days later. We didn't go to that because we had work, but I'm sure it was nice.
I've been in the Intensive Therapy Unit this week, which is pretty interesting. Japanese Encephalitis is some scary shit. Also, leptosporosis. (bacterial infection gotten from rat urine while working in rice paddies) A woman was admitted today with burns over 63% of her body (2nd and 3rd degree) from "suicidal burns from kerosine oil". She looks absolutely awful and is in extreme amounts of pain. The burns happened on November 26th. And she still is in constant pain. I don't even think she's on any analgesics (It's pronounced "ANalgesic", the pills go in your mouth.) They had to wash her today and she screamed the entire time. I think I would have, too.
Yesterday I started hearing this weird echoing noise while Kate was talking. I thought it was her, but no, it's me. I fell asleep for like a half hour listening to music with only the bud in my right ear, but oddly enough, my left ear is hearing weird. I may have a tumor. Anyway, every higher pitched noise sounds robotic. If someone said, "Roger, roger," like the droids from Star Wars, it would sound exactly like the movie. But only my left ear hears that, my right ear hears normally. So, when the nurses at the hospital talk, or the burn victim screams, I hear it normally, and then with a demonic echo attached. It's really weird, but I kinda like it, as long as it goes away soon.
There's a cricket match between England and Sri Lanka that's been going on for the past few weeks. They play 3 matches over a course of 3 weeks because eatch match takes 5 days. That's kinda the only cool thing about cricket, it's always going on during the week. It's like March Madness or the Olympics, except much more boring to watch. It's still cool to see though because in Galle you can sit on the walls of this huge fort and watch the match. Someone said about 9,000 English people came here to see the match. Cricket is actually more boring than baseball, but since it's new, I can stand it enough.
Good luck to everyone who still have finals. And, for everyone who's done, have a rum and coke for me. Dustin, have 9 Long Islands.
-Kurt
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Thoughts and Musings
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. But I did see two dogs having sex on the beach today. That's gotta be worth something.
So there's this dog that lives behind our house that barks all day and all night. And it's a yippy bark, so it's just awful to listen to. There are many nights and mornings at 6am that I can't sleep because he won't shut up that I lie there hoping I'll hear a gunshot and then silence. Really, every time I hear a dog yelp or a car screech to a halt I hope that dog is dying. A month and a half of listening to this thing drives me to think like that. If you ever need to get information out of me, just put me in a room with a yippy dog that won't shut up.
Dustin, I found the perfect gift for you, but I didn't buy it at the time and now I can't find another one. I walked on the beach today looking for the lady selling it and waited for an hour. Don't worry though, I told the German guy that if he ever saw that lady again, he has to buy your gift. You'll probably have it next week. You know how efficient those Germans are.
I worked with a bunch of med students this past week that were really fun. They all wanted me to come on rounds with them and I seemed like a prize when I was hanging out with them at the hospital. One of them was joking that he could get me one of the girls if I wanted. I don't think he knows the word "pimp" so I didn't make a joke about it. There's also a Muslim student and they made a bunch of jokes about him and Al-Queda. I thought that was a bit insensitive.
In Orthopedics I went on rounds with the med students and the consultant (head of the department). It was pretty fun, especially when the consultant (who has two lazy eyes) started asking me a bunch of questions. Usually he would just hand a random student an X-ray and then ask them to describe it. He took an interest in me, so I answered quite a few questions for him. Somewhere in my description of the educational system of America to the med students, I failed to explain adequately that I've studied for 4 years, but NOT medicine. This got passed on to the consultant who thought I was a 4 year med students like the rest of the people I was with. I still managed to answer the questions as well as the other students though, which I'll take as a victory.
On Friday night I passed out at 11pm. I had drank over 2 liters of beer and over a half liter of arrack, in my defense. Saturday night we tried to go to a club, but there was no party that night, so Stefan and I got lost going back to our hotel. We were trying to find the ocean, but we ran into dense jungle and a wall. 20 minutes later we decided to return to where we left and then just follow the ocean from there.
Last time I checked, the Hawks were over .500. I'm scared to check again.
I leave here in 10 days. It seems kinda weird that I'll be going home. It seems even weirder that I'll have a 35 hour day on December 27th. They really need to make use of Jack changing time zones to get more time.
So there's this dog that lives behind our house that barks all day and all night. And it's a yippy bark, so it's just awful to listen to. There are many nights and mornings at 6am that I can't sleep because he won't shut up that I lie there hoping I'll hear a gunshot and then silence. Really, every time I hear a dog yelp or a car screech to a halt I hope that dog is dying. A month and a half of listening to this thing drives me to think like that. If you ever need to get information out of me, just put me in a room with a yippy dog that won't shut up.
Dustin, I found the perfect gift for you, but I didn't buy it at the time and now I can't find another one. I walked on the beach today looking for the lady selling it and waited for an hour. Don't worry though, I told the German guy that if he ever saw that lady again, he has to buy your gift. You'll probably have it next week. You know how efficient those Germans are.
I worked with a bunch of med students this past week that were really fun. They all wanted me to come on rounds with them and I seemed like a prize when I was hanging out with them at the hospital. One of them was joking that he could get me one of the girls if I wanted. I don't think he knows the word "pimp" so I didn't make a joke about it. There's also a Muslim student and they made a bunch of jokes about him and Al-Queda. I thought that was a bit insensitive.
In Orthopedics I went on rounds with the med students and the consultant (head of the department). It was pretty fun, especially when the consultant (who has two lazy eyes) started asking me a bunch of questions. Usually he would just hand a random student an X-ray and then ask them to describe it. He took an interest in me, so I answered quite a few questions for him. Somewhere in my description of the educational system of America to the med students, I failed to explain adequately that I've studied for 4 years, but NOT medicine. This got passed on to the consultant who thought I was a 4 year med students like the rest of the people I was with. I still managed to answer the questions as well as the other students though, which I'll take as a victory.
On Friday night I passed out at 11pm. I had drank over 2 liters of beer and over a half liter of arrack, in my defense. Saturday night we tried to go to a club, but there was no party that night, so Stefan and I got lost going back to our hotel. We were trying to find the ocean, but we ran into dense jungle and a wall. 20 minutes later we decided to return to where we left and then just follow the ocean from there.
Last time I checked, the Hawks were over .500. I'm scared to check again.
I leave here in 10 days. It seems kinda weird that I'll be going home. It seems even weirder that I'll have a 35 hour day on December 27th. They really need to make use of Jack changing time zones to get more time.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Hmmm
We had a Christmas party with all the volunteers this weekend. The Projects Abroad staff took us to a nice hotel for dinner, which was really good food and gave us all santa hats. Oh yeah, also all the free booze we could drink. That was an important perk. We all got drunk.
I was in endoscopy this past week and it turns out that we, indeed, are full of shit.
I was also in the orthopedic ward this week and saw lots of cool X-rays. Some were of arms or legs that had been broken before, so they had metal plates fixing their bones. But they got into another accident and managed to break their metal plates. And this was in more than one X-ray. You'd think they'd use something stronger, possibly adamantium. I guess they're going to stick with Reynolds Wrap crushed into a bar for now at least.
We had another weekend at the beach. I love December. The son in our house said he has to move to a different room because "it's cold this time of year." He really needs to know what Wisconsin feels like. I might mail him some snow when I get back.
Oh yeah, back to endoscopy. This joke is mostly for Craig, but if there are any more closet Carlin fans out there, here you go. They stick this really long black camera with a light on it up your ass for a colonoscopy. That falls into the category "smaller than a fist" but it's much less loving than a dildo.
They had these guys dancing with fire at the club on Friday. They had little torches on the end of these ropes and were spinning them around. Then they let two of our girls try. I can't think of a worse idea.
I was in endoscopy this past week and it turns out that we, indeed, are full of shit.
I was also in the orthopedic ward this week and saw lots of cool X-rays. Some were of arms or legs that had been broken before, so they had metal plates fixing their bones. But they got into another accident and managed to break their metal plates. And this was in more than one X-ray. You'd think they'd use something stronger, possibly adamantium. I guess they're going to stick with Reynolds Wrap crushed into a bar for now at least.
We had another weekend at the beach. I love December. The son in our house said he has to move to a different room because "it's cold this time of year." He really needs to know what Wisconsin feels like. I might mail him some snow when I get back.
Oh yeah, back to endoscopy. This joke is mostly for Craig, but if there are any more closet Carlin fans out there, here you go. They stick this really long black camera with a light on it up your ass for a colonoscopy. That falls into the category "smaller than a fist" but it's much less loving than a dildo.
They had these guys dancing with fire at the club on Friday. They had little torches on the end of these ropes and were spinning them around. Then they let two of our girls try. I can't think of a worse idea.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Sigiriya and Random Dancing
It snowed yesterday. Not here. Somewhere else. Probably Wisconsin. Here it was really hot and I sunburned one of my arms at the beach.
British people watch the British Office, but they think it's better than ours. Their "Jim" is named "Tim".
We went to Sigiriya and Kandy 2 weekends ago. Sigiriya was the capitol long ago and there's the ruins of a fortress on top of this huge rock. There may be pictures of it on the site. Anyway, you have to climb up a ways to get to the top. There's a little flat area just before the last climb and it had a lot of monkeys. One was letting us stand very close to it, but when I tried to take a picture, it came at me. Like, it actually tried to bite me. Good thing I have cat-like speed and reflexes. So we're standing there taking pictures of the non-aggressive monkeys when it starts to rain. Like, really rain. We go stand under a tree with some locals to stay dry and after about 15 mins, it kinda clears up. There are still more stairs to go, but we got this far, screw the rain. So, we decide to go for it. Now, the last staircase, after the really slippery rock steps, looks like a fire escape from the Projects. But in worse shape. Some locals advise us to take our shoes off cuz it'd be less slippery. My sandals strap to my feet and are rockstarish, so I keep them on. As we begin our climb, it's going well. It's us and then like 2 other people deciding to go for it at this point. No local is that dumb. As we get to the rickety metal part, we notice that it's built next to the rock face, so some of the stairs are like 6 inches wide and then just hit the rock with a jagged border. I've seen less tetanus at the Rusty Metal Emporium. And most people have no shoes on. We survive the climb, but we had to do the last part using our hands and feet. The view is nice, yadda, yadda, now we have to get back down. But we have a new enemy: gravity. We took it nice and slow and kept the fatalities to zero.
This past weekend we went to the beach and relaxed. On Friday night we went to a club, but the girls we were with didn't want to hang out with us for some reason, so it was just Sam, Stefan, and me. That's not about to ruin our night. I ran out onto the floor and broke out every dance move I had, including the Carlton. Sam then did The Terrorist. I then broke out the Shopping Cart. Then it spiraled out of control. This night and the next we would make up something to do and then next person had to do it. Some examples: pretend you're a seed bloom into a tree and die, you're an octopus born in the desert and you're confused, vampire bite at least 10 people, do the foxtrot with a sri lankan, get 2 sri lankans to join hands with you and spin in a circle, grab a flag and do a dance with it, ask all the tables if they've seen your lost chicken, start dancing and then pretend you're scared of music, and get a girl to sit on my shoulders and do the YMCA motions. That last one took me 20 minutes, but I did it. Boredom is the greatest of all inventors. (Take THAT Edison.)
Some posts I considered doing, but didn't for whatever reason: The Battle of Kurt's Colon, Animals I want to Kill, and Sri Lankan Food: Tasty, but what the Hell am I Eating?
Capital One Bowl again?
And Illinois in the Rose Bowl? Has black become white?
-Kurt
British people watch the British Office, but they think it's better than ours. Their "Jim" is named "Tim".
We went to Sigiriya and Kandy 2 weekends ago. Sigiriya was the capitol long ago and there's the ruins of a fortress on top of this huge rock. There may be pictures of it on the site. Anyway, you have to climb up a ways to get to the top. There's a little flat area just before the last climb and it had a lot of monkeys. One was letting us stand very close to it, but when I tried to take a picture, it came at me. Like, it actually tried to bite me. Good thing I have cat-like speed and reflexes. So we're standing there taking pictures of the non-aggressive monkeys when it starts to rain. Like, really rain. We go stand under a tree with some locals to stay dry and after about 15 mins, it kinda clears up. There are still more stairs to go, but we got this far, screw the rain. So, we decide to go for it. Now, the last staircase, after the really slippery rock steps, looks like a fire escape from the Projects. But in worse shape. Some locals advise us to take our shoes off cuz it'd be less slippery. My sandals strap to my feet and are rockstarish, so I keep them on. As we begin our climb, it's going well. It's us and then like 2 other people deciding to go for it at this point. No local is that dumb. As we get to the rickety metal part, we notice that it's built next to the rock face, so some of the stairs are like 6 inches wide and then just hit the rock with a jagged border. I've seen less tetanus at the Rusty Metal Emporium. And most people have no shoes on. We survive the climb, but we had to do the last part using our hands and feet. The view is nice, yadda, yadda, now we have to get back down. But we have a new enemy: gravity. We took it nice and slow and kept the fatalities to zero.
This past weekend we went to the beach and relaxed. On Friday night we went to a club, but the girls we were with didn't want to hang out with us for some reason, so it was just Sam, Stefan, and me. That's not about to ruin our night. I ran out onto the floor and broke out every dance move I had, including the Carlton. Sam then did The Terrorist. I then broke out the Shopping Cart. Then it spiraled out of control. This night and the next we would make up something to do and then next person had to do it. Some examples: pretend you're a seed bloom into a tree and die, you're an octopus born in the desert and you're confused, vampire bite at least 10 people, do the foxtrot with a sri lankan, get 2 sri lankans to join hands with you and spin in a circle, grab a flag and do a dance with it, ask all the tables if they've seen your lost chicken, start dancing and then pretend you're scared of music, and get a girl to sit on my shoulders and do the YMCA motions. That last one took me 20 minutes, but I did it. Boredom is the greatest of all inventors. (Take THAT Edison.)
Some posts I considered doing, but didn't for whatever reason: The Battle of Kurt's Colon, Animals I want to Kill, and Sri Lankan Food: Tasty, but what the Hell am I Eating?
Capital One Bowl again?
And Illinois in the Rose Bowl? Has black become white?
-Kurt
Monday, December 3, 2007
Heart Surgery (Post 2)
Heart Surgery is freaking awesome. When I was sent there I was just told to change and then just go in. I walk into the room and one of the techs tells me to go watch. No introduction, no preamble, nothing. Just, "Go and look." After just having spent a week in a mini operation room and nearly passing out a few times, I was a little worried about seeing an open chest cavity. And when I'm watching, I stand right at the patient's head, surrounded by important tubes such as the ones that let them breathe or keep them asleep. These are tubes that need to stay connected. If I faint and fall into these things, I will kill the person. And not like, they'll be messed up, they will actually die. This thought stays with me as I approach the operating table. As I get my first view of an open chest, I'm completely fine. I don't feel like I'm going to faint at all. This is a good feeling because I don't know the penalty for accidental murder in Sri Lanka. I'm guessing it involves tying parts of my body to different elephants and then releasing 3 lions onto the scene. It's also probably televised.
Pretty much, this past week I've been watching various heart surgeries and talking to doctors that are performing heart surgery. I feel like I shouldn't be distracting them, but they like talking, so it's all good. To get to the heart, first, you have to cut through your chest skin. this is done with a scalpel at first. It is then continued with a cauterizing knife. While this is going on, all you can smell is burning flesh. It smells like meat mixed with rubber. After you get through the skin and fat (they're having heart surgery, even here it's still mostly fat people) you need to get through the sternum. What would you use to accomplish that? I think I'd go for the handheld saw and cut the bone in half. They have this little saw that quite easily gets through the sternum, but thankfully it's pretty quiet, so you can hear the bone being cut. After that it's more cauterizing. This time to the sides of the cut sternum and surrounding tissue. And, I kid you not, it smells like ribs you'd order at Damons. I'm watching this guy's chest get cut open, all I can think about is barbecue sauce.
The heart itself is kinda red and has some yellow because of the fat. I really think I'm going to do more cardio when I get home. It looks only kinda like it does in anatomy books, and the veins and arteries aren't colored blue and red respectively. Lying books. It looks really cool to see a beating heart. And it's weird because I could actually reach out and touch it if I wanted to. I do, but since I'm not sterile, that would be way #2 I could kill the patient. After getting to the heart they have to attach all these tubes so the blood can go to a bypass machine so the heart can stop beating. In case you didn't already assume, when you cut into an atrium, blood spurts out. Randomly when they're finishing up, one of the sutures won't be tight enough and a little fountain of blood will start to rise. The surgeon usually just puts his finger on it like it's a Pepsi bottle that's leaking. Sometimes the surgeon will get a facefull of blood. There really is blood everywhere.
For cardiac artery bypass surgery, they take a huge vein out of the person's leg from their ankle to their knee and then graft it onto the heart and aorta. For valve replacements, they just cut out the old ones and then sew the new one in. It's not exactly that easy, and the surgeries take about 4 or 5 hours, but that's pretty much how it's done.
There was a lady today that weighed 85 kg. If you convert that to pounds it comes out to "Too Much". So she needed a new valve. Also a diet. After the doctors got through all the fat and finally go to the heart, it was ridiculous. It was like the scene when the Grinch is finally filled with the spirit of Christmas when he hears all the Whos down in Whoville singing. Operating on her enormous yellow heart was harder than usual and when they got done, she was fibrillating, so they got out the little heart paddles and shocked her 3 times before the heart stopped that. A little later the surgeon was sewing the atrium back together and his head and arms just kinda dropped in defeated disappointment because the ventricle was fibrillating again. He got back out the paddles and shocked her again. Later, he rolled his eyes at a tube because it sprayed blood all over his chest and face. I left after they had to put her on an external pacemaker because her heart wouldn't go back to normal. Honestly, her ECG looked like an earthquake. *Insert your own fat person walking joke here*
Heart surgery is pretty sweet, but you know what's even better? And by 'even better' I mean, 'better than Green Bay'. The Dallas Cowboys.
-Kurt
Pretty much, this past week I've been watching various heart surgeries and talking to doctors that are performing heart surgery. I feel like I shouldn't be distracting them, but they like talking, so it's all good. To get to the heart, first, you have to cut through your chest skin. this is done with a scalpel at first. It is then continued with a cauterizing knife. While this is going on, all you can smell is burning flesh. It smells like meat mixed with rubber. After you get through the skin and fat (they're having heart surgery, even here it's still mostly fat people) you need to get through the sternum. What would you use to accomplish that? I think I'd go for the handheld saw and cut the bone in half. They have this little saw that quite easily gets through the sternum, but thankfully it's pretty quiet, so you can hear the bone being cut. After that it's more cauterizing. This time to the sides of the cut sternum and surrounding tissue. And, I kid you not, it smells like ribs you'd order at Damons. I'm watching this guy's chest get cut open, all I can think about is barbecue sauce.
The heart itself is kinda red and has some yellow because of the fat. I really think I'm going to do more cardio when I get home. It looks only kinda like it does in anatomy books, and the veins and arteries aren't colored blue and red respectively. Lying books. It looks really cool to see a beating heart. And it's weird because I could actually reach out and touch it if I wanted to. I do, but since I'm not sterile, that would be way #2 I could kill the patient. After getting to the heart they have to attach all these tubes so the blood can go to a bypass machine so the heart can stop beating. In case you didn't already assume, when you cut into an atrium, blood spurts out. Randomly when they're finishing up, one of the sutures won't be tight enough and a little fountain of blood will start to rise. The surgeon usually just puts his finger on it like it's a Pepsi bottle that's leaking. Sometimes the surgeon will get a facefull of blood. There really is blood everywhere.
For cardiac artery bypass surgery, they take a huge vein out of the person's leg from their ankle to their knee and then graft it onto the heart and aorta. For valve replacements, they just cut out the old ones and then sew the new one in. It's not exactly that easy, and the surgeries take about 4 or 5 hours, but that's pretty much how it's done.
There was a lady today that weighed 85 kg. If you convert that to pounds it comes out to "Too Much". So she needed a new valve. Also a diet. After the doctors got through all the fat and finally go to the heart, it was ridiculous. It was like the scene when the Grinch is finally filled with the spirit of Christmas when he hears all the Whos down in Whoville singing. Operating on her enormous yellow heart was harder than usual and when they got done, she was fibrillating, so they got out the little heart paddles and shocked her 3 times before the heart stopped that. A little later the surgeon was sewing the atrium back together and his head and arms just kinda dropped in defeated disappointment because the ventricle was fibrillating again. He got back out the paddles and shocked her again. Later, he rolled his eyes at a tube because it sprayed blood all over his chest and face. I left after they had to put her on an external pacemaker because her heart wouldn't go back to normal. Honestly, her ECG looked like an earthquake. *Insert your own fat person walking joke here*
Heart surgery is pretty sweet, but you know what's even better? And by 'even better' I mean, 'better than Green Bay'. The Dallas Cowboys.
-Kurt
CTU
The following takes place from 10am to 11am.
Jack is standing over a man on the operating table. He's been in surgery for the past hour and has just put the man on cardiac bypass.
Jack: Chloe, this doesn't look good. See if you can upload his vitals to my PDA.
Chloe: I'm trying, Jack, but the satellite is backed up and we're swamped here.
Jack: I know, just do it as soon as you can. I'm not going to lose this guy.
Chloe: Ok, I sent them and I'm also cross checking his history with the Cardiac Institute of America (CIA) database to see if he's had any complications we don't know about.
Jack makes another cut to continue the valve replacement. He looks to his right and sees a pool of blood forming on the floor.
Jack: What's that? Chloe I think we have a leak in CTU.
Chloe: In the bypass machine? Jack, there's no way we can shut that down right now.
Jack: You need to make sure that workstation is shut down or this entire operation will be compromised.
Chloe: Ok, I'll see what I can do.
Chloe gives the info to the Head of Surgery. He looks it over and calls for security. They go over to the bypass technician.
Head: Sir, I'm going to have to shut this workstation down until further notice. These men will take you to holding.
A separate machine comes in to replace the old one. Jack continues surgery.
Jack: Chloe, I'm having trouble uplinking these two arteries. I may have to go by a different route.
Chloe: Jack, you know CTU won't approve of that and it's hard enough covering for you as it is.
Jack: I'm sorry, but there isn't enough time, we need to finish this now before it's too late.
Jack switches to a different artery and makes the connection.
Jack: Ok, I think this is done. I'm going to take him off bypass and restart his heart.
Jack removes the tubes and gives the injection to kick the heart back on. The heart starts beating erratically.
Jack: Get me the defibrillator!
Chloe: There's no way you're going to shock this man. Give it more time.
Jack: We don't have time, we need to bring him back.
Chloe: They're going to bring you in and I'll lose my job if I get you the defibrillator, I can't do it.
Jack: Fine.
Jack grabs a nearby lamp and pulls the cords out. He splits them and takes them over to the patient.
Jack: Don't make me do this.
Patient:......
Jack: Clear!
Jack shocks the heart and the whole patient's body jumps. The heart beats normally again.
Jack: Alright, Chloe, I think this is done. We just got a tip that there's a man carrying a clot in his body. I'm going to check him out.
Jack is standing over a man on the operating table. He's been in surgery for the past hour and has just put the man on cardiac bypass.
Jack: Chloe, this doesn't look good. See if you can upload his vitals to my PDA.
Chloe: I'm trying, Jack, but the satellite is backed up and we're swamped here.
Jack: I know, just do it as soon as you can. I'm not going to lose this guy.
Chloe: Ok, I sent them and I'm also cross checking his history with the Cardiac Institute of America (CIA) database to see if he's had any complications we don't know about.
Jack makes another cut to continue the valve replacement. He looks to his right and sees a pool of blood forming on the floor.
Jack: What's that? Chloe I think we have a leak in CTU.
Chloe: In the bypass machine? Jack, there's no way we can shut that down right now.
Jack: You need to make sure that workstation is shut down or this entire operation will be compromised.
Chloe: Ok, I'll see what I can do.
Chloe gives the info to the Head of Surgery. He looks it over and calls for security. They go over to the bypass technician.
Head: Sir, I'm going to have to shut this workstation down until further notice. These men will take you to holding.
A separate machine comes in to replace the old one. Jack continues surgery.
Jack: Chloe, I'm having trouble uplinking these two arteries. I may have to go by a different route.
Chloe: Jack, you know CTU won't approve of that and it's hard enough covering for you as it is.
Jack: I'm sorry, but there isn't enough time, we need to finish this now before it's too late.
Jack switches to a different artery and makes the connection.
Jack: Ok, I think this is done. I'm going to take him off bypass and restart his heart.
Jack removes the tubes and gives the injection to kick the heart back on. The heart starts beating erratically.
Jack: Get me the defibrillator!
Chloe: There's no way you're going to shock this man. Give it more time.
Jack: We don't have time, we need to bring him back.
Chloe: They're going to bring you in and I'll lose my job if I get you the defibrillator, I can't do it.
Jack: Fine.
Jack grabs a nearby lamp and pulls the cords out. He splits them and takes them over to the patient.
Jack: Don't make me do this.
Patient:......
Jack: Clear!
Jack shocks the heart and the whole patient's body jumps. The heart beats normally again.
Jack: Alright, Chloe, I think this is done. We just got a tip that there's a man carrying a clot in his body. I'm going to check him out.
Monday, November 26, 2007
The Hospital (2nd Post)
Today they removed maggots from a wound in a woman's foot. I walked into the mini OR after lunch and looked at this wound. It was already covered with Iodine, so it was all brown, so it just looked like all the other injuries. Then the doctor says, "There are maggots in the wound." I didn't stand really close to that one, but I watched as he pulled more than 15 maggots out of this cut. In the end her nail was removed and there was a pretty big hole in her toe. But no maggots. I went out and bought more alcohol for my leg after seeing that.
Some guy cut the tip of his finger mostly off on a table saw and was just standing there waiting to be seen with nothing on it. I was hoping someone would put pressure on that, but no. Another guy had a huge slash across his palm and just had to wait in line to get it stitched. Do they not understand what an ER is for? Apparently not because today a woman came in bleeding all over her stretcher. She was in a car accident and one leg had compound fractures in both her bottom leg bones. Just to make that clear, her tibia and fibula were sticking out of her skin and bleeding on the gurney. She was just sent to the ward, no need to bother the ER.
I'll be in the Carido-Thoracic Unit tomorrow. This may be the best place yet, and for no medical reasons. I'll be part of CTU tomorrow. Best. Day. Ever. They do open heart surgeries, so that should be fun. We'll see how well I cope.
They removed a sea urchin barb from the foot on a monk. That could only happen in this country.
The doctor had to change his shoes today because blood got all over them.
The doctor also doesn't wear gloves to give injections, just when he's actually cutting. The orderlies don't wear gloves when they're dressing some wounds too. I think I should mention how some diseases are spread.
Some guy cut the tip of his finger mostly off on a table saw and was just standing there waiting to be seen with nothing on it. I was hoping someone would put pressure on that, but no. Another guy had a huge slash across his palm and just had to wait in line to get it stitched. Do they not understand what an ER is for? Apparently not because today a woman came in bleeding all over her stretcher. She was in a car accident and one leg had compound fractures in both her bottom leg bones. Just to make that clear, her tibia and fibula were sticking out of her skin and bleeding on the gurney. She was just sent to the ward, no need to bother the ER.
I'll be in the Carido-Thoracic Unit tomorrow. This may be the best place yet, and for no medical reasons. I'll be part of CTU tomorrow. Best. Day. Ever. They do open heart surgeries, so that should be fun. We'll see how well I cope.
They removed a sea urchin barb from the foot on a monk. That could only happen in this country.
The doctor had to change his shoes today because blood got all over them.
The doctor also doesn't wear gloves to give injections, just when he's actually cutting. The orderlies don't wear gloves when they're dressing some wounds too. I think I should mention how some diseases are spread.
English People
I spend a lot of my time here with English people, so here's a post about them.
They'll immediately correct me by saying that they're not all "English". Some of them are from Wales (which apparently is its own country...) or Scotland or England. The phrase "Great Britain" includes all of those places, but not Northern Ireland. You need to say "United Kingdom" to include all of their land.
They measure speed in mph, distance in miles and feet. If they're measuring something exactly, they'll use cm, though. They use the Celsius temperature scale.
Now, to weigh people, they use stone. Really. A stone is about 6.5 kg, but trying to figure out how much someone weighs is ridiculous because I have to do two conversions. Stone? Are you kidding me? Is it the 1300's? Am I going to get the plague from being around you?
Defeating a greyhound dog being hit by a bus in the irony competition, I celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with three English people. I was thankful for the pilgrims leaving England.
A conversation with Alex:
Alex: "So, when you go to Hawaii, do you need a passport?"
Me: "You know Hawaii's a state, right?"
A: "Yeah, but it's not connected."
K:"No, you don't need a passport."
A: "What if you're already in the country as a foreigner, then do you need one?"
K: "No, they already checked you when you came in the first time."
A: "So you could just get in and then go anywhere? Why don't people just fly to Hawaii then go to the mainland without being checked?"
K: "You're checked when you fly into Hawaii, it has the same standards as everywhere else."
A: "Yeah, but it's an island, so it's gotta be easy to get in."
K: *blank stare*
I make a lot of puns, as usual. Sam makes them, too, but Cat thinks they're ridiculous. She did laugh at the seal pun, but that was hilarious. Anyway, we were at the top of this old fortress that used to have a stone lion carving. She was trying to get a picture but there were people in the way. She says, "I guess I'll have to lie in wait..." She was so mad I corrupted her into making puns.
We were playing a game and I said, "Big money, big money, no whammy, no whammy, STOP!" Then I said, "I really shouldn't have pressed my luck with that reference." It was awesome. Nobody got it...
They'll immediately correct me by saying that they're not all "English". Some of them are from Wales (which apparently is its own country...) or Scotland or England. The phrase "Great Britain" includes all of those places, but not Northern Ireland. You need to say "United Kingdom" to include all of their land.
They measure speed in mph, distance in miles and feet. If they're measuring something exactly, they'll use cm, though. They use the Celsius temperature scale.
Now, to weigh people, they use stone. Really. A stone is about 6.5 kg, but trying to figure out how much someone weighs is ridiculous because I have to do two conversions. Stone? Are you kidding me? Is it the 1300's? Am I going to get the plague from being around you?
Defeating a greyhound dog being hit by a bus in the irony competition, I celebrated Thanksgiving dinner with three English people. I was thankful for the pilgrims leaving England.
A conversation with Alex:
Alex: "So, when you go to Hawaii, do you need a passport?"
Me: "You know Hawaii's a state, right?"
A: "Yeah, but it's not connected."
K:"No, you don't need a passport."
A: "What if you're already in the country as a foreigner, then do you need one?"
K: "No, they already checked you when you came in the first time."
A: "So you could just get in and then go anywhere? Why don't people just fly to Hawaii then go to the mainland without being checked?"
K: "You're checked when you fly into Hawaii, it has the same standards as everywhere else."
A: "Yeah, but it's an island, so it's gotta be easy to get in."
K: *blank stare*
I make a lot of puns, as usual. Sam makes them, too, but Cat thinks they're ridiculous. She did laugh at the seal pun, but that was hilarious. Anyway, we were at the top of this old fortress that used to have a stone lion carving. She was trying to get a picture but there were people in the way. She says, "I guess I'll have to lie in wait..." She was so mad I corrupted her into making puns.
We were playing a game and I said, "Big money, big money, no whammy, no whammy, STOP!" Then I said, "I really shouldn't have pressed my luck with that reference." It was awesome. Nobody got it...
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
RTA and Relaxing Weekend (Post 2 of 2)
When we went on the safai, this random dog followed us the entire time. We named him Steven and he trotted behind our jeep for hours. We fed him some sandwiches because he was working hard. Even if we drove too fast for him and lost him, he always caught up in the end. I think he was training for a marathon or something.
Last week Wednesday we went 2 hours north to Panadura to have dinner for Jackie's last night. It was a fun evening and 3 of us that live down here stayed until 11ish. We caught a random bus that took us to a larger town that was 20 mins away, but we couldn't find another bus. So, some random tuk tuk driver pulls up and asks where we're going. Galle is 65km from where we were, so that's quite a drive. He goes into some speech about how expensive petrol is and how it's 130 total kilometers drive for him and then proceeds to ask for 1,000 rupees for the trip. That's about $9. We were like, ok. Then some random cops pull up and talk to him. He turns around and says, "Ok, 1,300 rupees." We were still fine with that. So we set off at about midnight at this point to drive almost half way across the country. We were stoopped at every police checkpoint and they all gave the same surprised expression when he told them where he was going. They checked the tuk tuk and saw white people, so it was cool. About 20 mins from our destination, 1:30am, Sam sees something up ahead and says, "Whoa" I look up and there are about 30 Sri Lankans running in the street screaming. It looked like a scene out of a horror film. Everyone was yelling and running towards us. I look to my right and see a boy laying unconscious under a motor bike. There is a random empty helmet in the middle of the road and there is no driver. As we're driving, people surround our tuk tuk and start banging on the roof trying to get us to stop. I was sure that I was going to be pulled out onto the street. Our driver swerved to miss the guys trying to block us and sped off. He said, "Bad things happen if you stop." We've all been told stories about stopping for accidents because the police arrest you and hold you if you're there. There was also an unfriendly mob that would probably have stolen the tuk tuk. I felt bad leaving, but there wasn't much we could do and it would have been very unsafe.
Friday we went up to Hikkaduwa for swimming and relaxation. After a bit of settling in, a bunch of us jump in the ocean. It's November and we can swim, it's great. We start swimming out for a bit and then look back towards shore. Shore is very far away and there's a strong current going out. We realize this and start to swim back. It is not easy. I'm not a good swimmer, but the other people are struggling, too. I'm swimming, but I can feel myself being pushed out still. I'm actually starting to get worried. After about 5 minutes I can see that I'm making some progress towards shore. I'm getting tired, but I know that I can keep up that level of exertion if I had to. (I did have to.) So after about 10 minutes or so I can touch ground and get onto the shore. I swallowed quite a bit of seawater, but I managed not to puke. I may take swimming lessons when I get home. That night, we had a bonfire on the beach and vodka that tasted like acetone. It was awful. Drunken revelry ensued. No broken ankles or almost killing Marieke this time, though.
We hung aroud on Saturday then went down to Unawatuna beach and drank some more. I was in a "Kurt is not happy to be drunk" mood, exacerbated by my trying to find the Australians while walking on sharp rocks for 15 minutes. I Irish Goodbye. A bunch of us ended up falling asleep on beach chaird until Momma Cat told us all to go to bed.
The next day I woke up at like 7 and went for a morning swim. We played a game of volleyball on the beach with people from 5 different countries (America, France, England, Germany, Netherlands). We then had a mini UN meeting. Later in the day I went to go talk to Milly, who was laying on the beach where the waves were crashing. We're chatting and she says that she has sand everywhere. "It's dowm my shorts, it's in my bikini." It's at this moment where I see an opportunity that cannot be passed up. It's like being offered a ride in Santa's sleigh, you just have to take it. I put on my best Cartman voice and say, "Oh, so you have some sand in your vagina." She was less than amused, but it was completely worth it. (Bonus points for the South Park fans who recognized the phrase "Broflovski's Disease") Some of the people went snorkeling, which I'll do at a later weekend. I did some cheer moves with the girls in the ocean, which always makes the locals happy. We had lunch at this place that has pizza. I ordered the "Beefy Bacon" pizza. I think they have that just for the American tourists.
The girl in my facebook picture is Milly. Emily Jane Cowan. Feel free to send her messages inquiring about Broflovski's.
We all drink bottled water here because the tap water is full of terrorists. On the water, it says "Do not accept if seal is broken." They also have that warning at zoos.
I'm in the mini surgery theatre right now, which is pretty cool. I'm doing better not feeling faint, but we'll see how that holds when I see open heart surgery in a few weeks. I think I'll be able to stomach the gastro surgeries though....
Save the cheerleader, save the world.
-Kurt
Last week Wednesday we went 2 hours north to Panadura to have dinner for Jackie's last night. It was a fun evening and 3 of us that live down here stayed until 11ish. We caught a random bus that took us to a larger town that was 20 mins away, but we couldn't find another bus. So, some random tuk tuk driver pulls up and asks where we're going. Galle is 65km from where we were, so that's quite a drive. He goes into some speech about how expensive petrol is and how it's 130 total kilometers drive for him and then proceeds to ask for 1,000 rupees for the trip. That's about $9. We were like, ok. Then some random cops pull up and talk to him. He turns around and says, "Ok, 1,300 rupees." We were still fine with that. So we set off at about midnight at this point to drive almost half way across the country. We were stoopped at every police checkpoint and they all gave the same surprised expression when he told them where he was going. They checked the tuk tuk and saw white people, so it was cool. About 20 mins from our destination, 1:30am, Sam sees something up ahead and says, "Whoa" I look up and there are about 30 Sri Lankans running in the street screaming. It looked like a scene out of a horror film. Everyone was yelling and running towards us. I look to my right and see a boy laying unconscious under a motor bike. There is a random empty helmet in the middle of the road and there is no driver. As we're driving, people surround our tuk tuk and start banging on the roof trying to get us to stop. I was sure that I was going to be pulled out onto the street. Our driver swerved to miss the guys trying to block us and sped off. He said, "Bad things happen if you stop." We've all been told stories about stopping for accidents because the police arrest you and hold you if you're there. There was also an unfriendly mob that would probably have stolen the tuk tuk. I felt bad leaving, but there wasn't much we could do and it would have been very unsafe.
Friday we went up to Hikkaduwa for swimming and relaxation. After a bit of settling in, a bunch of us jump in the ocean. It's November and we can swim, it's great. We start swimming out for a bit and then look back towards shore. Shore is very far away and there's a strong current going out. We realize this and start to swim back. It is not easy. I'm not a good swimmer, but the other people are struggling, too. I'm swimming, but I can feel myself being pushed out still. I'm actually starting to get worried. After about 5 minutes I can see that I'm making some progress towards shore. I'm getting tired, but I know that I can keep up that level of exertion if I had to. (I did have to.) So after about 10 minutes or so I can touch ground and get onto the shore. I swallowed quite a bit of seawater, but I managed not to puke. I may take swimming lessons when I get home. That night, we had a bonfire on the beach and vodka that tasted like acetone. It was awful. Drunken revelry ensued. No broken ankles or almost killing Marieke this time, though.
We hung aroud on Saturday then went down to Unawatuna beach and drank some more. I was in a "Kurt is not happy to be drunk" mood, exacerbated by my trying to find the Australians while walking on sharp rocks for 15 minutes. I Irish Goodbye. A bunch of us ended up falling asleep on beach chaird until Momma Cat told us all to go to bed.
The next day I woke up at like 7 and went for a morning swim. We played a game of volleyball on the beach with people from 5 different countries (America, France, England, Germany, Netherlands). We then had a mini UN meeting. Later in the day I went to go talk to Milly, who was laying on the beach where the waves were crashing. We're chatting and she says that she has sand everywhere. "It's dowm my shorts, it's in my bikini." It's at this moment where I see an opportunity that cannot be passed up. It's like being offered a ride in Santa's sleigh, you just have to take it. I put on my best Cartman voice and say, "Oh, so you have some sand in your vagina." She was less than amused, but it was completely worth it. (Bonus points for the South Park fans who recognized the phrase "Broflovski's Disease") Some of the people went snorkeling, which I'll do at a later weekend. I did some cheer moves with the girls in the ocean, which always makes the locals happy. We had lunch at this place that has pizza. I ordered the "Beefy Bacon" pizza. I think they have that just for the American tourists.
The girl in my facebook picture is Milly. Emily Jane Cowan. Feel free to send her messages inquiring about Broflovski's.
We all drink bottled water here because the tap water is full of terrorists. On the water, it says "Do not accept if seal is broken." They also have that warning at zoos.
I'm in the mini surgery theatre right now, which is pretty cool. I'm doing better not feeling faint, but we'll see how that holds when I see open heart surgery in a few weeks. I think I'll be able to stomach the gastro surgeries though....
Save the cheerleader, save the world.
-Kurt
Monday, November 19, 2007
Horton Plains, Safari, and The Bus (1 of 2)
Here are the details from 2 weekends ago, late, but still funny.
We went to Horton Plains, which is a national park with some waterfalls and this place called World's End where you can see a nice view of the valley and take some great pictures. (Random interruption: the guy next to me at the internet cafe is looking at porn and it's kinda disturbing.) We all met in Panadura because it's a central meeting point. It also means that I have to travel 2 hours before we even leave for the place. We meet up and leave an hour later than planned, but that's expected. Anyway, we begin our 7 hour drive and have to stop and ask for directions after 20 mins. We turn around (Bright eyes!) A little later we start playing mafia. It's fun for a while, but we keep playing anyway, even after the 17th round. We get lost and have to turn around. More mafia. We stop again and ask for directions. It begins to rain. "How much time till we get there?" "2 hours." 4 hours later, we arrive at our hotel. We have some beers and eat dinner. More beers. We have to be up at 5am the next day so we can get to the park early enough to see the view at World's End. We go to sleep. We all wake up. Some of us look like death. We get all of our stuff on the bus. The bus won't start. We wait. Then we need to push start the bus. At 5:30 in the morning. There's video and pictures somewhere of us all pushing this bus in a tiny parking lot trying to get it to start. 45 minutes later the bus is ready to go. We leave for the park and spirits are high. We get lost twice for almost 2 hours on the way to the park. We do finally get to the park around 9:30. The hike wasn't too bad and there are some cool waterfalls, but not much wildlife. When we finally got to World's End, it was completely covered with fog. I have some pictures of the fog. Apparently we only missed (mist, haha) the view by a half hour. We hike back and are ready for more bus riding.
During the trip to the hotel for the night, we stop to eat at this extremely Sri Lankan town. This would be like stopping at a little gas station in the South. That place has never seen outsiders and they don't like our kind. Also, the bathroom looked like it hadn't been cleaned since it was built. It was also the only one in this town. I actually was curious to see if there was a cleaner one, so I asked almost every shop. Only one bathroom. After eating we drive another 6 hours to our hotel. More beers and dinner. I had a nice chat with one of the new girls, Milly (nickname from Emily). We talked for a while, she's a lot of fun. I'll reference her in the next post with having Broflovski's disease. End scene.
That night one of the guys, Gentle Ben, got a call from home saying that his dad is really ill. He ended up flying home and is still there now. He and his family could use any prayers.
The next day we went on a safari at another national park. We rode in jeeps, which was cool. My stomach hurt a lot this day. Thankfully we were in open topped jeeps or else I may have been accused of sneaking biological weapons into the car. At the park there were lots of elephants, which was cool to see them in a more natural habitat. They did get kinda pissed when we stopped and a few looked like they wanted to charge our jeeps. It was totally okay though because our 110 pound, 60 year old guide waved his hat and yelled. We saw lots of birds and some deer in the distance and even some jackels (sp?). There was a dead deer on the side of the road that was pretty gross. (You know that thing in our backseat, it's not an air freshener, it's a dead rotting deer carcas.) There are some pictures from the safari on the page now. The safari was pretty cool and made up for a lot of the bus disasters.
The Emergency Treatment Unit was pretty cool overall. There were some lectures from the Australians at the end, so those were educational. I'm now in the mini-operation theatre, which is any operations that don't need general anesthetic. I'm sure I'll have some stories from there, hopefully not of me fainting. The nurses have a pet name for me that means "white boy". It's very cute.
Sam and I are going to the gym, so I'll have to do post 2 of 2 tomorrow hopefully.
America.
-Kurt
We went to Horton Plains, which is a national park with some waterfalls and this place called World's End where you can see a nice view of the valley and take some great pictures. (Random interruption: the guy next to me at the internet cafe is looking at porn and it's kinda disturbing.) We all met in Panadura because it's a central meeting point. It also means that I have to travel 2 hours before we even leave for the place. We meet up and leave an hour later than planned, but that's expected. Anyway, we begin our 7 hour drive and have to stop and ask for directions after 20 mins. We turn around (Bright eyes!) A little later we start playing mafia. It's fun for a while, but we keep playing anyway, even after the 17th round. We get lost and have to turn around. More mafia. We stop again and ask for directions. It begins to rain. "How much time till we get there?" "2 hours." 4 hours later, we arrive at our hotel. We have some beers and eat dinner. More beers. We have to be up at 5am the next day so we can get to the park early enough to see the view at World's End. We go to sleep. We all wake up. Some of us look like death. We get all of our stuff on the bus. The bus won't start. We wait. Then we need to push start the bus. At 5:30 in the morning. There's video and pictures somewhere of us all pushing this bus in a tiny parking lot trying to get it to start. 45 minutes later the bus is ready to go. We leave for the park and spirits are high. We get lost twice for almost 2 hours on the way to the park. We do finally get to the park around 9:30. The hike wasn't too bad and there are some cool waterfalls, but not much wildlife. When we finally got to World's End, it was completely covered with fog. I have some pictures of the fog. Apparently we only missed (mist, haha) the view by a half hour. We hike back and are ready for more bus riding.
During the trip to the hotel for the night, we stop to eat at this extremely Sri Lankan town. This would be like stopping at a little gas station in the South. That place has never seen outsiders and they don't like our kind. Also, the bathroom looked like it hadn't been cleaned since it was built. It was also the only one in this town. I actually was curious to see if there was a cleaner one, so I asked almost every shop. Only one bathroom. After eating we drive another 6 hours to our hotel. More beers and dinner. I had a nice chat with one of the new girls, Milly (nickname from Emily). We talked for a while, she's a lot of fun. I'll reference her in the next post with having Broflovski's disease. End scene.
That night one of the guys, Gentle Ben, got a call from home saying that his dad is really ill. He ended up flying home and is still there now. He and his family could use any prayers.
The next day we went on a safari at another national park. We rode in jeeps, which was cool. My stomach hurt a lot this day. Thankfully we were in open topped jeeps or else I may have been accused of sneaking biological weapons into the car. At the park there were lots of elephants, which was cool to see them in a more natural habitat. They did get kinda pissed when we stopped and a few looked like they wanted to charge our jeeps. It was totally okay though because our 110 pound, 60 year old guide waved his hat and yelled. We saw lots of birds and some deer in the distance and even some jackels (sp?). There was a dead deer on the side of the road that was pretty gross. (You know that thing in our backseat, it's not an air freshener, it's a dead rotting deer carcas.) There are some pictures from the safari on the page now. The safari was pretty cool and made up for a lot of the bus disasters.
The Emergency Treatment Unit was pretty cool overall. There were some lectures from the Australians at the end, so those were educational. I'm now in the mini-operation theatre, which is any operations that don't need general anesthetic. I'm sure I'll have some stories from there, hopefully not of me fainting. The nurses have a pet name for me that means "white boy". It's very cute.
Sam and I are going to the gym, so I'll have to do post 2 of 2 tomorrow hopefully.
America.
-Kurt
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Quick
I was going to do a weekend post today, but I e-mailed the family instead. Mom noticed that my leg was bandaged in a picture, so I downplayed it a lot. One of the girl's parents came to visit and her dad is a GP in England, so he looked at my leg and said it was fine. I also asked them if they would worry if they were at home and heard I fell in a sewer. It was his idea to call it "a little fall" and tell them about it later.
There were no leeches this weekend (ok, one but that was random) so no more horror stories about that. We play mafia a lot because we have ridiculously long bus rides. The result of that is that nobody trusts each other, even outside of the game. At the national park there were peacocks sitting up in trees and I said, "Look! A peacock is in the tree!" None of the girls would believe me. Gareth looked and agreed that there indeed was a peacock in the tree, but that probably made it worse. It took us forever to convince them to look. Also, the whole country is half the size of Wisconsin, and we only travel in the lower half. But there still manages to be 7 hour bus rides. Are you kidding me? They have no highways here and the busses go about 50 km/h on the main roads (30mph) and on the bad, back, winding roads, maybe 20 or 30 km/h. It's awful. We just drink a lot on the bus trips to make the time go faster. I'll tell about the weekend later. I'm teaching two of the guys here how to do backflips today at the beach. I may have stories about that as well.
This joke works better when spoken:
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.
-Kurt
There were no leeches this weekend (ok, one but that was random) so no more horror stories about that. We play mafia a lot because we have ridiculously long bus rides. The result of that is that nobody trusts each other, even outside of the game. At the national park there were peacocks sitting up in trees and I said, "Look! A peacock is in the tree!" None of the girls would believe me. Gareth looked and agreed that there indeed was a peacock in the tree, but that probably made it worse. It took us forever to convince them to look. Also, the whole country is half the size of Wisconsin, and we only travel in the lower half. But there still manages to be 7 hour bus rides. Are you kidding me? They have no highways here and the busses go about 50 km/h on the main roads (30mph) and on the bad, back, winding roads, maybe 20 or 30 km/h. It's awful. We just drink a lot on the bus trips to make the time go faster. I'll tell about the weekend later. I'm teaching two of the guys here how to do backflips today at the beach. I may have stories about that as well.
This joke works better when spoken:
How do you kill a circus?
Go for the juggler.
-Kurt
Thursday, November 8, 2007
The Weekend with all the Leeches
We went to Ella last weekend, and in case you're wondering, we all had Rihanna stuck in our heads the entire time. The drive there from Panadura was 10 hours because we made our driver stop for booze and mixers at a few different places. As we were filling the bottles, there was a police stoppage. The 17 year old was pretty worried. We're white, so I don't think they even care. Ella is a tiny town that has Ella Rock which is a big hill that's about a 3 mile hike up. (3 miles up, 3 miles down! Easy Company!) The first night we stood on the roof of our hotel and looked at the stars, which was the best sky I've ever seen. I actually couldn't find certain things because there were so many stars. The next day we go on our hike. Our driver decided to come with us because he'd never been, so it was good to have a Sri Lankan with us. The hike starts on a railroad track and as we're on it we hear a train, so we all jump off. It actually wasn't a train, but one of those carts you see in cartoons that has two guys pulling and pushing down on a lever to make it go. I kid you not. After a little bit we got to a really nice waterfall. We're taking pictures and I notice a path. I go down it and it gets closer to the waterfall. Then I see a rock out in the middle of the waterfall. I can totally get out there. It's not dangerous at all. I climb across part of the waterfall, half slipping on the algae covered rocks above a 50 foot drop onto this rock and got some nice pictures. Then I go to get back, but I can't because I would have to put all my weight onto a rock and if I slip, I die. I look around a bit and then climb up a level where I'll have a less chance of falling to my death. I had to kinda crawl across this part of the waterfall to make sure I didn't slip. Needless to say, no one else went out there but me.
After that we start walking and one of the girls starts screaming because there's a leech on her leg. She's freaking out. Enough so that a random Sri Lankan farmer comes over to her with a rag soaked in salt water to get the leech off. Now I think, "I was just in the waterfall and my feet are soaking wet, I also still have my open leg wound, let's check for leeches on my feet." My sandals have straps over the top, so you can't see most of my feet. And sure enough there was one on my foot. I tried to flick it off, but it then latched to my finger. So I have this leech on my finger and it won't come off. If you pull them off they bite harder and you end up ripping part of their heads off inside your skin. That is not desirable. So the farmer comes up to me and wipes it off. The leeches don't hurt, but THEY'RE LEECHES. THEY SUCK YOUR BLOOD. I should have brought garlic. So, during the rest of our hike, we'd get a leech on us every 10 minutes or so. The farmer stayed with us for the rest of the hike, which was good because we didn't know where we were going. We'd stop to deleech ourselves and then more would crawl onto you, and they'd be under your feet and in the people's shoes. They can bite through and climb under socks, so that wasn't even protection. At one point Cat got bit on the ass by a bug, but didn't think too much of it. 45 minutes of blood sucking later, she realizes that it's a leech. She had to get one of the girls to get this leech off of her. It was bigger than your thumb and when it came off, Cat bled a lot. Leeches have an anticoagulant enzyme in their mouths. Mother Nature can be a real bitch sometimes. Cat's blood covered white pants aside, we made it up the mountain. When we reached the summit, the fog decided to cover the entire valley. (Mother Nature 2, Us 0). The top was mercifully leach-free, so we ate up there and sat for a while. There were random moments when the fog would clear, so there are some pictures. Our farmer took us to some other rocks that were really high up, but there were safety rails to make sure you don't fall off. Look for them in the pictures. They're right next to the flying pigs. So after we're up there, we had to go back through the gauntlet of leeches again. The farmer realized that some of the girls were not pleased, so he took us back by another path that had like 2 leeches on it. Why we didn't take that path first, nobody knows. We tipped our farmer and gave his daughter a pen. Apparently they don't always have pens for school. When we got back, we checked every part of our bodies for leeches just to make sure one wasn't hiding in the taint. Of the 8 of us, 6 actually got bit, but we all had a few leeches on us at one point. I think I had 15 total.
That night we didn't feel like doing anything and it was pouring rain, so we decided to drink. We ask our driver to take us out in the monsoon to find an alcohol shop. The one alcohol shop in Ella only had Arrack, so we got some. Then we started trying hotels. That was too expensive. So we drive to the next town over to try to find some. It's still pouring rain and dark out. We eventually did find a booze shop and thus ended our hour voyage. There's video of me snoring passed out on my bed that night. All together, a good weekend.
The Emergency Treatment Unit isn't that exciting thus far, but it's alright. We're going to a national park this weekend. We were told there will be more leeches. I'll try to get a picture this time.
Due to that I still haven't told my parents about my leg, I'm putting the remainder of my pictures on a bloody-leg-free site, so go here from now on: http://s234.photobucket.com/albums/ee157/kurtysrilanka/
Thank you again, Lisa. The kids from tsunami camp were playing with my camera, so that explains some of the pictures. They got one of Jackie's chest, which makes me proud because I've been trying to straighten them out. They started out giving the european cheek kisses to me, so I taught them the fist pound and the firm handshake. They caught on quickly. Most guys hold hands here, so I couldn't change that, sadly.
-Turk
After that we start walking and one of the girls starts screaming because there's a leech on her leg. She's freaking out. Enough so that a random Sri Lankan farmer comes over to her with a rag soaked in salt water to get the leech off. Now I think, "I was just in the waterfall and my feet are soaking wet, I also still have my open leg wound, let's check for leeches on my feet." My sandals have straps over the top, so you can't see most of my feet. And sure enough there was one on my foot. I tried to flick it off, but it then latched to my finger. So I have this leech on my finger and it won't come off. If you pull them off they bite harder and you end up ripping part of their heads off inside your skin. That is not desirable. So the farmer comes up to me and wipes it off. The leeches don't hurt, but THEY'RE LEECHES. THEY SUCK YOUR BLOOD. I should have brought garlic. So, during the rest of our hike, we'd get a leech on us every 10 minutes or so. The farmer stayed with us for the rest of the hike, which was good because we didn't know where we were going. We'd stop to deleech ourselves and then more would crawl onto you, and they'd be under your feet and in the people's shoes. They can bite through and climb under socks, so that wasn't even protection. At one point Cat got bit on the ass by a bug, but didn't think too much of it. 45 minutes of blood sucking later, she realizes that it's a leech. She had to get one of the girls to get this leech off of her. It was bigger than your thumb and when it came off, Cat bled a lot. Leeches have an anticoagulant enzyme in their mouths. Mother Nature can be a real bitch sometimes. Cat's blood covered white pants aside, we made it up the mountain. When we reached the summit, the fog decided to cover the entire valley. (Mother Nature 2, Us 0). The top was mercifully leach-free, so we ate up there and sat for a while. There were random moments when the fog would clear, so there are some pictures. Our farmer took us to some other rocks that were really high up, but there were safety rails to make sure you don't fall off. Look for them in the pictures. They're right next to the flying pigs. So after we're up there, we had to go back through the gauntlet of leeches again. The farmer realized that some of the girls were not pleased, so he took us back by another path that had like 2 leeches on it. Why we didn't take that path first, nobody knows. We tipped our farmer and gave his daughter a pen. Apparently they don't always have pens for school. When we got back, we checked every part of our bodies for leeches just to make sure one wasn't hiding in the taint. Of the 8 of us, 6 actually got bit, but we all had a few leeches on us at one point. I think I had 15 total.
That night we didn't feel like doing anything and it was pouring rain, so we decided to drink. We ask our driver to take us out in the monsoon to find an alcohol shop. The one alcohol shop in Ella only had Arrack, so we got some. Then we started trying hotels. That was too expensive. So we drive to the next town over to try to find some. It's still pouring rain and dark out. We eventually did find a booze shop and thus ended our hour voyage. There's video of me snoring passed out on my bed that night. All together, a good weekend.
The Emergency Treatment Unit isn't that exciting thus far, but it's alright. We're going to a national park this weekend. We were told there will be more leeches. I'll try to get a picture this time.
Due to that I still haven't told my parents about my leg, I'm putting the remainder of my pictures on a bloody-leg-free site, so go here from now on: http://s234.photobucket.com
Thank you again, Lisa. The kids from tsunami camp were playing with my camera, so that explains some of the pictures. They got one of Jackie's chest, which makes me proud because I've been trying to straighten them out. They started out giving the european cheek kisses to me, so I taught them the fist pound and the firm handshake. They caught on quickly. Most guys hold hands here, so I couldn't change that, sadly.
-Turk
Monday, November 5, 2007
Sorry
I did a vaginal examination on Friday. And that's not a really douchey way of saying "I got some", but I did an actual vaginal examination on a woman who was going to give birth later that day. It was interesting because you can feel the baby's head and the dilation, and it was good to actually do something like that instead of just read about it.
I moved down to Galle now so I'm at a different hospital that doesn't even have a maternity ward, so no more gross stories.
I have an epic weekend to recount, but that will not happen today because I have to go back to work in a bit, but just as a teaser, the title of the next post will be, "The Weekend with all the Leeches"
-Kurt
I moved down to Galle now so I'm at a different hospital that doesn't even have a maternity ward, so no more gross stories.
I have an epic weekend to recount, but that will not happen today because I have to go back to work in a bit, but just as a teaser, the title of the next post will be, "The Weekend with all the Leeches"
-Kurt
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Jokes I Forgot
They drink a lot of tea here, kinda like in England. It's also ridiculously hot here when it's not raining. I get offered tea lot at work, but I'm also sweating a lot. It's kind of like getting addicted to a bad reality TV show, like Age of Love. You watch the first episode because you're bored or curious. Then you watch it again next week. You know it's bad for you, but you just can't stop. Then every week you just keep watching. The tea is just so good I can't say no, but it just makes me hotter.
I totally forgot a joke during my obnoxiously graphic labor room description: I hear screaming in there like I've never heard from anyone before. Before you make jokes about my inability to please a woman, it's more the kind of screaming if Jessica Alba had sex with Shaq. But without the sound of a pelvis shattering.
Ok, I have to go now. We're going to Ella (Ella!) this weekend. I'll post more pictures next week.
Kurt
I totally forgot a joke during my obnoxiously graphic labor room description: I hear screaming in there like I've never heard from anyone before. Before you make jokes about my inability to please a woman, it's more the kind of screaming if Jessica Alba had sex with Shaq. But without the sound of a pelvis shattering.
Ok, I have to go now. We're going to Ella (Ella!) this weekend. I'll post more pictures next week.
Kurt
Monday, October 29, 2007
Women's Hospital, the Wedding, the Brothel, and The Bet
I forgot to mention this earlier, but they have giant bats here. Like, bigger than any crow at home. We saw one fly over the other day and I asked Lisette if she thought he was off to fight crime. In another joke she didn't get, we were talking about how the Netherlands is below sea level and she asked if any other countries were. I told her only Atlantis.
I'm going to start today with stories from the women's hospital. They will be graphic.
Ketumathie was a mansion that was donated by the owners as a hospital. It's really nice and pretty much better than Base Hospital in every way. What I do is pretty unorganized so it's kinda random (I sat in the neo-natal care ward for an hour waiting for someone who never came.) But I've been spending lots of time in the labor room:
You walk into a room that's lit, but not bright. Seven beds lay in front of you, each holding a woman. As you bat the flies away from your head, you're greeted by someone wearing a rubber apron and bloody gloves. You hear screaming from all sides. Immediately to your right there is a woman with her legs spread apart and blood covering her genitals. The next bed over the woman is screaming as three people are yelling at her and pushing on her stomach. A head emerges and then the rest of a pale creature, still attached by a cord. Even though the mother has stooped screaming, the child takes over with screams of his own. As the baby is taken away, the mother is still bleeding. Mere feet away, the woman next to her just witnessed the fate that would be hers in a few short minutes.
That narrative aside, the labor room isn't much different. There are seven beds and there were 3 births within an hour on Friday. There's a lot of blood and I can't help imagining that most of my cheerleader friends will never have normal childbirths. There has been tearing in every one I've seen. They actually usually cut the tear so it's at least controlled. The actual birth is surprisingly non-bloody. The baby is whiteish and screams a lot. On Friday, after the birth, the doctor that delivered cut the umbilical cord and then ran, actually ran, across the labor room to this little emergency table while holding a 3 second old baby. Many nurses rushed over and a man wearing jeans even came into the room to give his expertise. (I'm guessing he was one of the senior doctors.) The baby wasn't breathing and his heart wasn't beating normally. They fixed the problems, so the baby is fine, but it was kinda tense for a little bit. They do actually wear gloves in this hospital because you kinda have to, so that's good. I also work with a doctor doing charting for him. We saw 50 babies in an hour and 45 minutes. I pretty much wrote as fast as I could the whole time.
A little backstory: We usually go out on weekends and drink. I kinda get tired and fall asleep at times in bars. They even made of game of stacking stuff on me and whoever woke me up lost. I even provide entertainment while sleeping. Anyway, I've gotten a reputation for falling asleep, so they decided to take bets on when I'll fall asleep on the day of the wedding. They drew times in half hour intervals out of a hat (actually a camera case, but who's keeping track?) starting at 7pm and going until 4:30am. It was a 50 rupee (50 cent) buy in. I was a player as well because if I stayed up until 5am, I won the money. Read on for the results.
The wedding of one of the worker's sister was this weekend and all the volunteers were invited. We all dressed in saris and sarongs, which made for some fun pictures. (I'll get them from people later.) The wedding was actually Catholic and the Mass was all in Sinhala, but I managed to know at least what was going on. None of the Europeans are religious, it's kinda weird. The reception had some Sri Lankan dancers and every table had a bottle of Johnny Walker Red. There was free beer and good food. We started drinking around 1. Every time I looked away or left, they spiked my beer or drink with whiskey. Actually, they did this while I was holding my drink and looking right at them, too. I took it all in stride. We ended up being one of the last groups to leave the place at like 4. It was really tame and almost disappointing, but still fun. After the wedding we had a 2 hour drive back to Colombo, which was going to be my first real challenge in the bet. But, I made sure that if I can't sleep, nobody can. I ended up thinking of teaching the Europeans mafia, which was a lot of fun and kept me awake. We went to an English pub when we got back and ate and drank more beer. We pretty much drank for another 4 hours. Every half hour after 7 I made a tally on my arm for beating a time. I had to make it to 20 tallies. The pub closed early, so we went to this club that was kinda crappy. A group of us just wanted to have a beer and chill as opposed to dance, so we went searching for another pub. On our way we chatted with the guys working at Pizza Hut because they have to know where a pub is. They actually got the manager to direct us to a bar: the Winter Palace. We walk down the road and find the place. They wanted a cover, and we didn't want to pay, so we left, but they came after us and told us we didn't have to pay. Everyone loves white people. This also turned out to be a dance club, but we were like, whatever. So we're stitting there chatting and Sam says, "I bet that woman is a prostitute." I look and laugh and agree. Then we look around some more. There are older men in suits and all the girls look like prostitutes. There are no other girls in the club except the ones we brought. "There's no way this is a brothel." So we're sitting there drinking and notice that people keep coming and going out of this set of doors. Now we're intrigued. So two of the girls ask what's back there and it turns out to be the bathrooms. Bathrooms with lockers full of lingerie. That pretty much confirmed the brothel hypothesis. We decided not to talk to any of the women, no matter how hilarious it would have been because we didn't want to have them think the wrong thing. There was one other white guy in his late 20's there dancing with this girl who could not have been older than 15. She was very likely 14. He looked over at us and got a really guilty look on his face. We left after about an hour. I've now had a drink at a Sri Lankan brothel.
We get back to the 'hotel' about 2:30am. I have 2 and a half hour left to stay awake, as I haven't fallen asleep yet. Pretty much everyone crashes right away, but thankfully I stayed up talking to Jackie for a while. After she fell asleep I had about an hour and a half. I have one hour left. I'm in a room that looks like a set for the 4th Saw movie. It's dark. I'm in Sri Lanka. It's 4am. There are noises outside. I can't help but think of every scary movie I've seen. Jackie sleeping in the room is not helping because I swear she's going to open her eyes and they're going to be white and she's going to start talking in a demonic voice. I managed to keep my mind off of the many ways I could die long enough to get to 5am. I was the only one of our group to stay up till 5am. VICTORIOUS!
I made a reference to The Karate Kid to all the Europeans who just stared at me. I said, "Nevermind, I'll just be over here singing the Star Spangled Banner..."
Sorry about this mammoth post, but I had lots to tell. (I know I should have used that joke for the elephant post, but I only thought of it now.) I hope Halloween weekend was fun back in Madison. Post more comments, they make me happy.
Kurt
I'm going to start today with stories from the women's hospital. They will be graphic.
Ketumathie was a mansion that was donated by the owners as a hospital. It's really nice and pretty much better than Base Hospital in every way. What I do is pretty unorganized so it's kinda random (I sat in the neo-natal care ward for an hour waiting for someone who never came.) But I've been spending lots of time in the labor room:
You walk into a room that's lit, but not bright. Seven beds lay in front of you, each holding a woman. As you bat the flies away from your head, you're greeted by someone wearing a rubber apron and bloody gloves. You hear screaming from all sides. Immediately to your right there is a woman with her legs spread apart and blood covering her genitals. The next bed over the woman is screaming as three people are yelling at her and pushing on her stomach. A head emerges and then the rest of a pale creature, still attached by a cord. Even though the mother has stooped screaming, the child takes over with screams of his own. As the baby is taken away, the mother is still bleeding. Mere feet away, the woman next to her just witnessed the fate that would be hers in a few short minutes.
That narrative aside, the labor room isn't much different. There are seven beds and there were 3 births within an hour on Friday. There's a lot of blood and I can't help imagining that most of my cheerleader friends will never have normal childbirths. There has been tearing in every one I've seen. They actually usually cut the tear so it's at least controlled. The actual birth is surprisingly non-bloody. The baby is whiteish and screams a lot. On Friday, after the birth, the doctor that delivered cut the umbilical cord and then ran, actually ran, across the labor room to this little emergency table while holding a 3 second old baby. Many nurses rushed over and a man wearing jeans even came into the room to give his expertise. (I'm guessing he was one of the senior doctors.) The baby wasn't breathing and his heart wasn't beating normally. They fixed the problems, so the baby is fine, but it was kinda tense for a little bit. They do actually wear gloves in this hospital because you kinda have to, so that's good. I also work with a doctor doing charting for him. We saw 50 babies in an hour and 45 minutes. I pretty much wrote as fast as I could the whole time.
A little backstory: We usually go out on weekends and drink. I kinda get tired and fall asleep at times in bars. They even made of game of stacking stuff on me and whoever woke me up lost. I even provide entertainment while sleeping. Anyway, I've gotten a reputation for falling asleep, so they decided to take bets on when I'll fall asleep on the day of the wedding. They drew times in half hour intervals out of a hat (actually a camera case, but who's keeping track?) starting at 7pm and going until 4:30am. It was a 50 rupee (50 cent) buy in. I was a player as well because if I stayed up until 5am, I won the money. Read on for the results.
The wedding of one of the worker's sister was this weekend and all the volunteers were invited. We all dressed in saris and sarongs, which made for some fun pictures. (I'll get them from people later.) The wedding was actually Catholic and the Mass was all in Sinhala, but I managed to know at least what was going on. None of the Europeans are religious, it's kinda weird. The reception had some Sri Lankan dancers and every table had a bottle of Johnny Walker Red. There was free beer and good food. We started drinking around 1. Every time I looked away or left, they spiked my beer or drink with whiskey. Actually, they did this while I was holding my drink and looking right at them, too. I took it all in stride. We ended up being one of the last groups to leave the place at like 4. It was really tame and almost disappointing, but still fun. After the wedding we had a 2 hour drive back to Colombo, which was going to be my first real challenge in the bet. But, I made sure that if I can't sleep, nobody can. I ended up thinking of teaching the Europeans mafia, which was a lot of fun and kept me awake. We went to an English pub when we got back and ate and drank more beer. We pretty much drank for another 4 hours. Every half hour after 7 I made a tally on my arm for beating a time. I had to make it to 20 tallies. The pub closed early, so we went to this club that was kinda crappy. A group of us just wanted to have a beer and chill as opposed to dance, so we went searching for another pub. On our way we chatted with the guys working at Pizza Hut because they have to know where a pub is. They actually got the manager to direct us to a bar: the Winter Palace. We walk down the road and find the place. They wanted a cover, and we didn't want to pay, so we left, but they came after us and told us we didn't have to pay. Everyone loves white people. This also turned out to be a dance club, but we were like, whatever. So we're stitting there chatting and Sam says, "I bet that woman is a prostitute." I look and laugh and agree. Then we look around some more. There are older men in suits and all the girls look like prostitutes. There are no other girls in the club except the ones we brought. "There's no way this is a brothel." So we're sitting there drinking and notice that people keep coming and going out of this set of doors. Now we're intrigued. So two of the girls ask what's back there and it turns out to be the bathrooms. Bathrooms with lockers full of lingerie. That pretty much confirmed the brothel hypothesis. We decided not to talk to any of the women, no matter how hilarious it would have been because we didn't want to have them think the wrong thing. There was one other white guy in his late 20's there dancing with this girl who could not have been older than 15. She was very likely 14. He looked over at us and got a really guilty look on his face. We left after about an hour. I've now had a drink at a Sri Lankan brothel.
We get back to the 'hotel' about 2:30am. I have 2 and a half hour left to stay awake, as I haven't fallen asleep yet. Pretty much everyone crashes right away, but thankfully I stayed up talking to Jackie for a while. After she fell asleep I had about an hour and a half. I have one hour left. I'm in a room that looks like a set for the 4th Saw movie. It's dark. I'm in Sri Lanka. It's 4am. There are noises outside. I can't help but think of every scary movie I've seen. Jackie sleeping in the room is not helping because I swear she's going to open her eyes and they're going to be white and she's going to start talking in a demonic voice. I managed to keep my mind off of the many ways I could die long enough to get to 5am. I was the only one of our group to stay up till 5am. VICTORIOUS!
I made a reference to The Karate Kid to all the Europeans who just stared at me. I said, "Nevermind, I'll just be over here singing the Star Spangled Banner..."
Sorry about this mammoth post, but I had lots to tell. (I know I should have used that joke for the elephant post, but I only thought of it now.) I hope Halloween weekend was fun back in Madison. Post more comments, they make me happy.
Kurt
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
More fun times
I was woken up the other night by two monkeys having sex outside my bedroom in the woods. How am I supposed to chip with that going on?
A few responses to some questions:
Dustin, they put tape on my leg over the cuts, but it never got within a foot of my skin. I actually shaved my leg so I didn't have to scream every time I changed the bandages. The hair that was shaved off was used to clothe 100 orphans.
Craig, I mostly wish I had one more American here to get my jokes, but I just keep making them and hope someone will get the reference.
We went to Hikkadua and Unawatuna this past weekend. The night in Hikkadua was pretty much doom all around, not even the least of which was me almost killing Marieke twice. (Pronounced ma-REE-ka) It was raining a lot and we started drinking semi-early. Before we went out to dinner, I picked up Marieke over my shoulder and was going to pretend to put her out in the rain. Then I slipped on the concrete and fell. I took most of the impact, but she still hit her head. She was shaken up, but there was no need to go to the hospital. After dinner we drank more at the hotel and I did some monkey sex impressions to much applause and horror. We decided to wear sarongs out to the club that night because, why not? There were some guys that met up with us that were really being douchey to me, so I was in a pissy mood. This surprises none of you. At the club, I was still in a pissy mood, but eventually Marieke got me to dance with her. At one point I realized that my sarong was completely around my ankles while we were dancing. It's ok, the women loved it. So we're dancing and everything is fun, but there was a step on the dancefloor leading up to the stage. During one of the American-Dutch spins, she tripped over it and fell. I did catch most of her as I had her hand at the time. But she started freaking out and thought she broke her ankle. I really didn't think it was broken, nor did a bunch of other people (who are certified physical therapists (I'll take The Rapists for 200, Alex)), but Marieke wouldn't listen and kept crying. Eventually, some of the people went to the hospital and had to stay until 9 the next morning when she was sober. Anyway, I left soon after (but not before losing my phone) with two of the new volunteers. We wandered around the streets at 3am looking for our hotel. Oh yeah, Gentle Ben was puking the whole time. (Gentle Ben is a 17 year old volunteer who probably weighs 250. He's like 6'2", so it's not that bad though). We found our home in the end.
We started drinking at 9:30am the next day and stayed drunk pretty much all day. We played soccer on the beach in Unawatuna with some local Sri Lankans. We played skins vs skins. I was in goal, so I helped America look better than usual in the international soccer world. We also went swimming, which I had to wrap my leg in a garbage bag and rolls of tape so I could go in the ocean. It still got wet, but the Arrack helped me not feel anything.
I have some stories about the women's hospital, but I'll have to write those later. Tomorrow is Poya Day (national holiday on the full moon) so we have off work. If this place is open, maybe I'll stop by.
USA! USA! USA!
-Kurt
A few responses to some questions:
Dustin, they put tape on my leg over the cuts, but it never got within a foot of my skin. I actually shaved my leg so I didn't have to scream every time I changed the bandages. The hair that was shaved off was used to clothe 100 orphans.
Craig, I mostly wish I had one more American here to get my jokes, but I just keep making them and hope someone will get the reference.
We went to Hikkadua and Unawatuna this past weekend. The night in Hikkadua was pretty much doom all around, not even the least of which was me almost killing Marieke twice. (Pronounced ma-REE-ka) It was raining a lot and we started drinking semi-early. Before we went out to dinner, I picked up Marieke over my shoulder and was going to pretend to put her out in the rain. Then I slipped on the concrete and fell. I took most of the impact, but she still hit her head. She was shaken up, but there was no need to go to the hospital. After dinner we drank more at the hotel and I did some monkey sex impressions to much applause and horror. We decided to wear sarongs out to the club that night because, why not? There were some guys that met up with us that were really being douchey to me, so I was in a pissy mood. This surprises none of you. At the club, I was still in a pissy mood, but eventually Marieke got me to dance with her. At one point I realized that my sarong was completely around my ankles while we were dancing. It's ok, the women loved it. So we're dancing and everything is fun, but there was a step on the dancefloor leading up to the stage. During one of the American-Dutch spins, she tripped over it and fell. I did catch most of her as I had her hand at the time. But she started freaking out and thought she broke her ankle. I really didn't think it was broken, nor did a bunch of other people (who are certified physical therapists (I'll take The Rapists for 200, Alex)), but Marieke wouldn't listen and kept crying. Eventually, some of the people went to the hospital and had to stay until 9 the next morning when she was sober. Anyway, I left soon after (but not before losing my phone) with two of the new volunteers. We wandered around the streets at 3am looking for our hotel. Oh yeah, Gentle Ben was puking the whole time. (Gentle Ben is a 17 year old volunteer who probably weighs 250. He's like 6'2", so it's not that bad though). We found our home in the end.
We started drinking at 9:30am the next day and stayed drunk pretty much all day. We played soccer on the beach in Unawatuna with some local Sri Lankans. We played skins vs skins. I was in goal, so I helped America look better than usual in the international soccer world. We also went swimming, which I had to wrap my leg in a garbage bag and rolls of tape so I could go in the ocean. It still got wet, but the Arrack helped me not feel anything.
I have some stories about the women's hospital, but I'll have to write those later. Tomorrow is Poya Day (national holiday on the full moon) so we have off work. If this place is open, maybe I'll stop by.
USA! USA! USA!
-Kurt
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Stuff
So, it's just barely not Wednesday for you guys right now, so I only lied a little. The Photobucket site is: http://s228.photobucket.com/albums/ee127/kurtissrilanka. Thanks, sis.
While at the elephant orphanage, I was petting this elephant and then it grabbed my crotch with its trunk. I think it just thought it lost part of its trunk and was trying to get it back. (CONTEST ALERT! Think you're funnier than me? Post the joke you would have made in the comments section.)
A story that reminds me of something that happened to E-Dubbs happened to me at the hospital. I was looking at an X-ray of this patient's pelvis because she complained of joint pain with her other symptoms. They were checking to see if there was any inflammation in her hip joints with the X-ray. This was almost impossible to see and one of the doctors even missed it, so I was really staring at this X-ray. Then I see this outline and am like, "What is that?" Yeah, it was a perfect outline of a vagina, or I guess labia. I thought of Eric with his girlfriend and parents and just had to laugh.
I was thinking the other day about how kids back home are scared of monsters under the bed and in the closet. (See Monsters, Inc. for a full study.) I think here they don't have stuff like that. I think the kids ask their dad if they can check under their beds for giant spiders. And you know the dad's thinking, "Damn, there's gotta be at least one under there." So he checks and then starts screaming. The kid freaks out. Several minutes and a bloody baseball bat later, the dad tucks his kid back in and says goodnight. At least in America your parents know there's not going to be a Boogey Man in the closet. Here, that's the least of your worries. (Author's note, the actual spider was as big as a tarantula, just not hairy. If I held it in my palm, aside from the screaming, half of its legs would touch my fingers, the other half my wrist.)
I put the rest of my pictures up on Photobucket. I might put some descriptions on, but I don't know. Facebook has some more of me too.
I finished re-reading Harry Potter 7. I liked it better this time, but still not as much as 6 or 4. It didn't seem to drag on as much this time at least.
I don't think I ever gave a full account of my room. The house is like any normal house, just with flying cockroaches and other bugs. Lisette and I have rooms upstairs. My room is decent sized and it has a little bathroom in it. The bathroom is about 3.5 feet wide and 4.5 feet long at best. It has a toilet and after you're done peeing, you turn without moving and there's the sink. (That doesn't work so well for the girls.) But, there's also a showerhead coming out of the wall over everything. So, not only is it the size of a phonebooth, the shower gets everything soaking wet whenever I shower.
The kids at tsunami camp love it when I pick them up and spin them around or throw them in the air. I just hope I don't drop one.
I start at the women's hospital tomorrow, so I should get to see some cool stuff. For those of you planning on getting pregnant soon, I'll pick up some tips.
-Kurt
While at the elephant orphanage, I was petting this elephant and then it grabbed my crotch with its trunk. I think it just thought it lost part of its trunk and was trying to get it back. (CONTEST ALERT! Think you're funnier than me? Post the joke you would have made in the comments section.)
A story that reminds me of something that happened to E-Dubbs happened to me at the hospital. I was looking at an X-ray of this patient's pelvis because she complained of joint pain with her other symptoms. They were checking to see if there was any inflammation in her hip joints with the X-ray. This was almost impossible to see and one of the doctors even missed it, so I was really staring at this X-ray. Then I see this outline and am like, "What is that?" Yeah, it was a perfect outline of a vagina, or I guess labia. I thought of Eric with his girlfriend and parents and just had to laugh.
I was thinking the other day about how kids back home are scared of monsters under the bed and in the closet. (See Monsters, Inc. for a full study.) I think here they don't have stuff like that. I think the kids ask their dad if they can check under their beds for giant spiders. And you know the dad's thinking, "Damn, there's gotta be at least one under there." So he checks and then starts screaming. The kid freaks out. Several minutes and a bloody baseball bat later, the dad tucks his kid back in and says goodnight. At least in America your parents know there's not going to be a Boogey Man in the closet. Here, that's the least of your worries. (Author's note, the actual spider was as big as a tarantula, just not hairy. If I held it in my palm, aside from the screaming, half of its legs would touch my fingers, the other half my wrist.)
I put the rest of my pictures up on Photobucket. I might put some descriptions on, but I don't know. Facebook has some more of me too.
I finished re-reading Harry Potter 7. I liked it better this time, but still not as much as 6 or 4. It didn't seem to drag on as much this time at least.
I don't think I ever gave a full account of my room. The house is like any normal house, just with flying cockroaches and other bugs. Lisette and I have rooms upstairs. My room is decent sized and it has a little bathroom in it. The bathroom is about 3.5 feet wide and 4.5 feet long at best. It has a toilet and after you're done peeing, you turn without moving and there's the sink. (That doesn't work so well for the girls.) But, there's also a showerhead coming out of the wall over everything. So, not only is it the size of a phonebooth, the shower gets everything soaking wet whenever I shower.
The kids at tsunami camp love it when I pick them up and spin them around or throw them in the air. I just hope I don't drop one.
I start at the women's hospital tomorrow, so I should get to see some cool stuff. For those of you planning on getting pregnant soon, I'll pick up some tips.
-Kurt
Monday, October 15, 2007
Photobucket
I created a Photobucket account. I don't know how to tell you all the address though. I'm still working on that. Later this week. Really. Wednesday? That sounds about right. The name is "kurtissrilanka" See if that helps.
Also, my leg is healing nicely. It feels much better than before and the swelling went way down. (Ok, I actually had something funny to put here, but I can't remember what it was. I'm just stalling for time.)
Also, my leg is healing nicely. It feels much better than before and the swelling went way down. (Ok, I actually had something funny to put here, but I can't remember what it was. I'm just stalling for time.)
Sweet, Sweet Kandy
Sorry it's been a while, folks, but I've been busy. I'm going to start out with something depressing I found out and then it'll get more fun. While talking to one of the doctors here, he asked me about salaries for doctors in the US. He then told me his salary, which comes out to $265 a month. Senior doctors will make $350 a month. I make more in 2 weeks working at Target. I found that horribly unfair and unjust. It's just different here.
Anyway, last week I finished my rounds in general medicine by actually going into the operating room. The head surgeon really likes me because I'm foreign and speaks really good English. I did some clinical examinations with him and some other students, so we got to chat quite a bit. After asking what we would do next to this patient that presented with a lump by his groin, I said, "Perform an ultrasound to confirm the hernia." The doctor gave me a look that said 'Yeah, we'll do that right after we ride unicorns to work and there's peace in the Middle East.' He actually said, "Yes, ideally, but we don't have those facilities." Also, the guy we were examining had fluid buildup in his scrotum from the hernia, so it looked like he had a testicle bigger than my fist. I guess your sac stretches a lot. "Here, palpate and feel how hard it is." "....ok." So, I got to feel this lovely scrotum that was very hard and ridiculously huge. With no gloves on. We washed our hands after, so it was totally ok. So, the day after I got to second base with a random Sri Lankan guy, this other student and I got to go into the OR to watch some surgeries. I handled it better than I thought I would, only getting kinda sickened by the surgeon cutting a tendon inside this woman's wrist, but I was totally OK with this guy's stomach wide open. The first surgery I watched as a circumcision. (Let's all wait for the joke.) The doctors were discussing why he was having the circumcision and said that it was for medical, not religious reasons. There was a lot of awkward looking around the room from the younger doctors and a really loud silence before the head surgeon realized he had to ask me the question everyone in the room was wondering, "Are you Jewish?" You could actually hear everyone in the room relax when I said no.
I'm going to explain real quick a game the three guys here (Sam, Gareth, and me) play with the girls. It's called Lies. We tell the girls outrageous things and they believe us. I told Michelle that Spiderman was based on real events and Sam asked Marieke to get him a left-handed paint roller from the other room. These will come up in my narration.
This past weekend we went to Kandy, which is in the hill country at the center of the country, about a 4 hour bus ride away. It's a little cooler there and it's really beautiful. Lisette and I showed up before the people from Galle because their train took forever. We were sitting at this restaurant where we were staying, and there was nobody there except the managers and owners. One of them really took a shine to me and wouldn't stop talking to us, but mostly me. He kept saying that I could be his son and that he had a daughter my age that I should meet. He even held my hand while he was pointing out where else to visit on a large map of Sri Lanka. (It's customary over here for two guys to hold hands, but it wasn't any less uncomfortable.) On Saturday we went to the elephant orphanage. I asked Marieke if she'd ask if we could see the elephant hatchery. Their eggs are huge. At the orphanage they have a bunch of elephants in this field with really no protection between you and them. The guys have there little spears, but it's an elephant. Let's throw a toothpick at a tank and see if it stops. We got to pet the elephants and took some cool pictures and then went to where the elephants get to swim in the water. Hopefully I'll be able to post pics of that. They let you get in the water near an elephant if you give them a little money. Once again, we get to see how few rules they have here. I think I'm going to try to put my pictures on photobucket. See how many gigantic penises you can find. We also got to go for a short ride on some elephants. Chloe (who watches 24 and might be my favorite person in the world) rode with me and didn't stop freaking out the whole time. I got a picture holding the little spear while riding the elephant with her. I told her I could totally control the elephant with that thing, but that was another lie.
Then we went to buy saris and sarongs for a wedding in two weeks. (Diwali!) This hour in the shop may have been the best of the trip. So, every time I bumped into someone, "Oh, sorry." Sam and Gareth are just as bad as me. After Sam took a while picking out a sarong, he said, "Hey guys, sorry that took sarong." "That just was sarong, man" We also invented a game called So Wrong. We wore our sarongs out one night (they're pretty much ankle length dresses) and whenever we were sitting with the group, we'd see how far we could pull it up before the girls noticed. We're not even close to mature enough to wear those. The puns continued all weekend.
We also visited a botanical garden (the square bushes grow from square seeds...) and saw some traditional Kandy dancing. They played with a bunch of fire towards the end and actually encouraged people to sit right by them to ensure you got covered in ashes. I will miss those things when I go back to the US.
Random stories:
I was in bed reading one night and all of a sudden this thing crawls across my ceiling. It could have been The Thing from the Adams Family, but no it was a spider. I've actually seen this spider in a zoo before. It's called the Sri Lankan Screaming Spider because if you actually see one in the wild, you can't stop screaming for 10 minutes. Aragog was like, "Dude, that spider's huge." So in my extreme desire to kill it, but my secondary desire to want to get a picture, I did manage to get a bag picture of it before I killed it. I hoped to never see one again. (We saw one in Kandy...)
I really wish there was just one more American here. Someone had a Kit Kat bar and wanted to know if I wanted a piece, so I said, "Yeah, break me off a piece of that." Nobody got the joke.
There's pic on facebook of the hole I fell into, it was added by someone else. Go check it out.
When we woke up on Saturday morning, there were about 1,000 bugs on the floor of the place we were staying. It looked like a horror movie.
I'm going to try to put up some pictures. I have to go to tsumani camp soon, so I might not get the chance. This week though, really. I'll make another effort and tell you about how I failed. Really, I will.
-Kurt
Anyway, last week I finished my rounds in general medicine by actually going into the operating room. The head surgeon really likes me because I'm foreign and speaks really good English. I did some clinical examinations with him and some other students, so we got to chat quite a bit. After asking what we would do next to this patient that presented with a lump by his groin, I said, "Perform an ultrasound to confirm the hernia." The doctor gave me a look that said 'Yeah, we'll do that right after we ride unicorns to work and there's peace in the Middle East.' He actually said, "Yes, ideally, but we don't have those facilities." Also, the guy we were examining had fluid buildup in his scrotum from the hernia, so it looked like he had a testicle bigger than my fist. I guess your sac stretches a lot. "Here, palpate and feel how hard it is." "....ok." So, I got to feel this lovely scrotum that was very hard and ridiculously huge. With no gloves on. We washed our hands after, so it was totally ok. So, the day after I got to second base with a random Sri Lankan guy, this other student and I got to go into the OR to watch some surgeries. I handled it better than I thought I would, only getting kinda sickened by the surgeon cutting a tendon inside this woman's wrist, but I was totally OK with this guy's stomach wide open. The first surgery I watched as a circumcision. (Let's all wait for the joke.) The doctors were discussing why he was having the circumcision and said that it was for medical, not religious reasons. There was a lot of awkward looking around the room from the younger doctors and a really loud silence before the head surgeon realized he had to ask me the question everyone in the room was wondering, "Are you Jewish?" You could actually hear everyone in the room relax when I said no.
I'm going to explain real quick a game the three guys here (Sam, Gareth, and me) play with the girls. It's called Lies. We tell the girls outrageous things and they believe us. I told Michelle that Spiderman was based on real events and Sam asked Marieke to get him a left-handed paint roller from the other room. These will come up in my narration.
This past weekend we went to Kandy, which is in the hill country at the center of the country, about a 4 hour bus ride away. It's a little cooler there and it's really beautiful. Lisette and I showed up before the people from Galle because their train took forever. We were sitting at this restaurant where we were staying, and there was nobody there except the managers and owners. One of them really took a shine to me and wouldn't stop talking to us, but mostly me. He kept saying that I could be his son and that he had a daughter my age that I should meet. He even held my hand while he was pointing out where else to visit on a large map of Sri Lanka. (It's customary over here for two guys to hold hands, but it wasn't any less uncomfortable.) On Saturday we went to the elephant orphanage. I asked Marieke if she'd ask if we could see the elephant hatchery. Their eggs are huge. At the orphanage they have a bunch of elephants in this field with really no protection between you and them. The guys have there little spears, but it's an elephant. Let's throw a toothpick at a tank and see if it stops. We got to pet the elephants and took some cool pictures and then went to where the elephants get to swim in the water. Hopefully I'll be able to post pics of that. They let you get in the water near an elephant if you give them a little money. Once again, we get to see how few rules they have here. I think I'm going to try to put my pictures on photobucket. See how many gigantic penises you can find. We also got to go for a short ride on some elephants. Chloe (who watches 24 and might be my favorite person in the world) rode with me and didn't stop freaking out the whole time. I got a picture holding the little spear while riding the elephant with her. I told her I could totally control the elephant with that thing, but that was another lie.
Then we went to buy saris and sarongs for a wedding in two weeks. (Diwali!) This hour in the shop may have been the best of the trip. So, every time I bumped into someone, "Oh, sorry." Sam and Gareth are just as bad as me. After Sam took a while picking out a sarong, he said, "Hey guys, sorry that took sarong." "That just was sarong, man" We also invented a game called So Wrong. We wore our sarongs out one night (they're pretty much ankle length dresses) and whenever we were sitting with the group, we'd see how far we could pull it up before the girls noticed. We're not even close to mature enough to wear those. The puns continued all weekend.
We also visited a botanical garden (the square bushes grow from square seeds...) and saw some traditional Kandy dancing. They played with a bunch of fire towards the end and actually encouraged people to sit right by them to ensure you got covered in ashes. I will miss those things when I go back to the US.
Random stories:
I was in bed reading one night and all of a sudden this thing crawls across my ceiling. It could have been The Thing from the Adams Family, but no it was a spider. I've actually seen this spider in a zoo before. It's called the Sri Lankan Screaming Spider because if you actually see one in the wild, you can't stop screaming for 10 minutes. Aragog was like, "Dude, that spider's huge." So in my extreme desire to kill it, but my secondary desire to want to get a picture, I did manage to get a bag picture of it before I killed it. I hoped to never see one again. (We saw one in Kandy...)
I really wish there was just one more American here. Someone had a Kit Kat bar and wanted to know if I wanted a piece, so I said, "Yeah, break me off a piece of that." Nobody got the joke.
There's pic on facebook of the hole I fell into, it was added by someone else. Go check it out.
When we woke up on Saturday morning, there were about 1,000 bugs on the floor of the place we were staying. It looked like a horror movie.
I'm going to try to put up some pictures. I have to go to tsumani camp soon, so I might not get the chance. This week though, really. I'll make another effort and tell you about how I failed. Really, I will.
-Kurt
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Quotes
If you didn't read the update before this one, read it, it's kinda important.
This is a quick update with some random quotes and happenings.
"Usually Americans are very tall. You look like you could be Asian." The doctor I work with my first day.
There are stray dogs everywhere and two of them cornered a smaller one in the corner of the restaurant we were at. There was a lot of growling and barking. What I wanted to say was, "That sounds like bad news for the little dog." but since I was surrounded by English people, I had to ask if anyone would understand a Michael Vick joke. No one had ever heard of him.
Since I hang out with British people a lot, I'm starting to use British colloquialisms like and pronounciations. Feel free to make fun of me when I return.
"Chicago is a city full of mad people and thieves. It is very notorious." One of the doctors at work. I didn't know it was still the 1920's in Sri Lanka.
If I can get it to work, I'll post some pictures. I redressed my wound, so I'm not worried about losing my leg anymore.
-Kurt
This is a quick update with some random quotes and happenings.
"Usually Americans are very tall. You look like you could be Asian." The doctor I work with my first day.
There are stray dogs everywhere and two of them cornered a smaller one in the corner of the restaurant we were at. There was a lot of growling and barking. What I wanted to say was, "That sounds like bad news for the little dog." but since I was surrounded by English people, I had to ask if anyone would understand a Michael Vick joke. No one had ever heard of him.
Since I hang out with British people a lot, I'm starting to use British colloquialisms like and pronounciations. Feel free to make fun of me when I return.
"Chicago is a city full of mad people and thieves. It is very notorious." One of the doctors at work. I didn't know it was still the 1920's in Sri Lanka.
If I can get it to work, I'll post some pictures. I redressed my wound, so I'm not worried about losing my leg anymore.
-Kurt
Monday, October 8, 2007
Unawatuna
This weekend was really eventful. But, first, make sure my mom doesn't read this. She will hear everything in good time, but I really don't want her worrying about me any more than she already is. (Obvious foreshadowing)
I had my first day at the hospital on Friday. The hospital is crowded and filthy. I remember thinking how I wish I never had to lay in one of those beds because they look really dirty. (Foreshadowing #2) Lauren described it as "The most soul-destroying place I've ever been." I'm learning a lot at the hospital and getting to see some things that I definitely would not get to see here.
This weekend we went to Unawatuna, which is a resort town south of where I'm staying. The bus ride down there was 2 hours and I stood for most of it or sat on a metal bar which made my arse hurt a lot. The rooms where we stayed were less than $20 a night and they were right on the ocean, and had AC and hot water. I know, we splurged. I shared a room with two of the girls and apparently I kick in the night. Friday I met a bunch of the other volunteers, everyone but the girl I live with and me are from the UK, Lisette is Dutch. Jackie started calling me Turk because she initially thought it was my name backwards, but now it's kinda stuck. She also watches Scrubs, so it's cool from that angle too. I went ankle deep in the ocean just to see how it was on Friday. Since I was wearing leather Gap sandals, the water weakened then and they broke soon after. (1) They were probably made here anyway, so it's only fitting that they died in their homeland. We drank at the hotel that night and then danced at the restaurant, which was fun. They had a drink here called Arrack which tastes like really smooth Brandy. I'll be getting some to bring home. Saturday we swam most of the day and went shopping. It was cloudy, so I didn't get burned or anything, so that was kinda nice. The Indian Ocean is much rougher than the Atlantic or Pacific, but it was fun. That night we all had dinner, celebrated Sam's birthday, and drank again. We did some karaoke at the restaurant bar and hung out. It was a good time. It started pouring rain at one point, so we went out into it for fun. We went down by the ocean and it stole one of the sandals I bought that day. (2) (I gave the Irish goodbye that night, but I made it safely back to the room, or close enough) The next day I had to buy another pair of sandals and make a trip to the bank because one of the girls had her purse stolen, which really sucks for her because all of her stuff was in there. We swam and hung out some more on Sunday and also went to a sea turtle refuge. They let you hold the 2 week old baby turtles, so I have pictures of that. I love countries with no rules. We then headed back around 4:30. It gets completely dark here by 6:30, so by the end of the bus ride back it was pitch black. There are also very few street lights.
Now the fun part. So there are open drains/gutters/sewers full of garbage and grey water that run all over Panadura. It makes the city smell awful. There are concrete slabs over some of these drains, but many of them are open, or just missing random slabs. We got off the bus and were talking for a bit and making sure we had everything before heading home. As we left, the first step I took was into the gutter because a slab was missing. I went, full weight into the next concrete slab with my shin, my hip hit the side and, as I caught myself, my feet just touched the water. I managed to catch myself before fully falling in, but it was still chest high. I pulled myself out and the first thing I said was, "I'm so pissed I lost another shoe." (3) Then I got dizzy, sat down and fainted on the sidewalk. They said I was out for about a minute and when I came to, I had no idea where I was, what I was doing, or how I got there. I was with 4 girls I've known for less than a week, so I didn't recognize anyone. After about a minute, I started remembering where I was and looked at my leg. There is a giant chunk out of my shin (it's still kinda bleeding, and this is about a day later.) There are two more scraped on my shin and both my feet have scrapes all over them, as does my elbow. My hip has a pretty good bruise on it and it hurts when I walk. Anyway, I'm laying on the sidewalk and a small crowd of locals is gathering wanting to help the pretty white girls, two of which are freaking out. I saw that I didn't need stitches, but I needed to go to the hospital. Thankfully it was a block away so I'm now entering soul-destroying Panadura hospital with a leg covered in blood. As I was waiting to be seen, there was a guy on a stretcher (all stainless steel gurney) with the end of his arm wrapped. I don't say "hand" because his hand was in a bucket that was on the gurney with him. Anyway, his need was greater than mine, so they took him off to surgery. I was then seen (Jackie accidentally told them my name was Turk) and brought into a room that I would not like to have eaten a meal in, let alone have a wound dressed. There was a gecko on the wall. This guy cleaned it with iodine and put some really ghetto bandages on it. Actually, ghetto is too nice. The best adjective is "broke-ass". I still don't feel like I can walk, so they got me one of those awesome steel gurneys and took me to a ward. Yep, they put me in one of those beds I never wanted to lay in. Two of the girls stayed with me and came into the ward, which, being an all guys ward, raised morale enough to save at least 2 lives. They had a nice fan club gathering nearby the whole time I was there. They asked if I wanted to wait for the doctor (he was in surgery reattaching a hand), and I said no, I just want to lie down for a bit. My host dad came to see me, which was really nice and he talked to the people there for us. We left after about a half hour. I'll post pictures of the wounds and the gutter I fell in eventually. I'm obsessively cleaning my wounds because I don't want it to get infected. They're still really gross.
Thanks for reading this really long post, I hope it was as entertaining for you as it was for my leg. I managed to lose 3 pairs of shoes in 3 days, which I think is some kinda of a record. I'll have to look it up. I'm off to buy bandanges and alcohol for my wounds. Keep reading the blog because you know it's only going to get better.
Kurt
I had my first day at the hospital on Friday. The hospital is crowded and filthy. I remember thinking how I wish I never had to lay in one of those beds because they look really dirty. (Foreshadowing #2) Lauren described it as "The most soul-destroying place I've ever been." I'm learning a lot at the hospital and getting to see some things that I definitely would not get to see here.
This weekend we went to Unawatuna, which is a resort town south of where I'm staying. The bus ride down there was 2 hours and I stood for most of it or sat on a metal bar which made my arse hurt a lot. The rooms where we stayed were less than $20 a night and they were right on the ocean, and had AC and hot water. I know, we splurged. I shared a room with two of the girls and apparently I kick in the night. Friday I met a bunch of the other volunteers, everyone but the girl I live with and me are from the UK, Lisette is Dutch. Jackie started calling me Turk because she initially thought it was my name backwards, but now it's kinda stuck. She also watches Scrubs, so it's cool from that angle too. I went ankle deep in the ocean just to see how it was on Friday. Since I was wearing leather Gap sandals, the water weakened then and they broke soon after. (1) They were probably made here anyway, so it's only fitting that they died in their homeland. We drank at the hotel that night and then danced at the restaurant, which was fun. They had a drink here called Arrack which tastes like really smooth Brandy. I'll be getting some to bring home. Saturday we swam most of the day and went shopping. It was cloudy, so I didn't get burned or anything, so that was kinda nice. The Indian Ocean is much rougher than the Atlantic or Pacific, but it was fun. That night we all had dinner, celebrated Sam's birthday, and drank again. We did some karaoke at the restaurant bar and hung out. It was a good time. It started pouring rain at one point, so we went out into it for fun. We went down by the ocean and it stole one of the sandals I bought that day. (2) (I gave the Irish goodbye that night, but I made it safely back to the room, or close enough) The next day I had to buy another pair of sandals and make a trip to the bank because one of the girls had her purse stolen, which really sucks for her because all of her stuff was in there. We swam and hung out some more on Sunday and also went to a sea turtle refuge. They let you hold the 2 week old baby turtles, so I have pictures of that. I love countries with no rules. We then headed back around 4:30. It gets completely dark here by 6:30, so by the end of the bus ride back it was pitch black. There are also very few street lights.
Now the fun part. So there are open drains/gutters/sewers full of garbage and grey water that run all over Panadura. It makes the city smell awful. There are concrete slabs over some of these drains, but many of them are open, or just missing random slabs. We got off the bus and were talking for a bit and making sure we had everything before heading home. As we left, the first step I took was into the gutter because a slab was missing. I went, full weight into the next concrete slab with my shin, my hip hit the side and, as I caught myself, my feet just touched the water. I managed to catch myself before fully falling in, but it was still chest high. I pulled myself out and the first thing I said was, "I'm so pissed I lost another shoe." (3) Then I got dizzy, sat down and fainted on the sidewalk. They said I was out for about a minute and when I came to, I had no idea where I was, what I was doing, or how I got there. I was with 4 girls I've known for less than a week, so I didn't recognize anyone. After about a minute, I started remembering where I was and looked at my leg. There is a giant chunk out of my shin (it's still kinda bleeding, and this is about a day later.) There are two more scraped on my shin and both my feet have scrapes all over them, as does my elbow. My hip has a pretty good bruise on it and it hurts when I walk. Anyway, I'm laying on the sidewalk and a small crowd of locals is gathering wanting to help the pretty white girls, two of which are freaking out. I saw that I didn't need stitches, but I needed to go to the hospital. Thankfully it was a block away so I'm now entering soul-destroying Panadura hospital with a leg covered in blood. As I was waiting to be seen, there was a guy on a stretcher (all stainless steel gurney) with the end of his arm wrapped. I don't say "hand" because his hand was in a bucket that was on the gurney with him. Anyway, his need was greater than mine, so they took him off to surgery. I was then seen (Jackie accidentally told them my name was Turk) and brought into a room that I would not like to have eaten a meal in, let alone have a wound dressed. There was a gecko on the wall. This guy cleaned it with iodine and put some really ghetto bandages on it. Actually, ghetto is too nice. The best adjective is "broke-ass". I still don't feel like I can walk, so they got me one of those awesome steel gurneys and took me to a ward. Yep, they put me in one of those beds I never wanted to lay in. Two of the girls stayed with me and came into the ward, which, being an all guys ward, raised morale enough to save at least 2 lives. They had a nice fan club gathering nearby the whole time I was there. They asked if I wanted to wait for the doctor (he was in surgery reattaching a hand), and I said no, I just want to lie down for a bit. My host dad came to see me, which was really nice and he talked to the people there for us. We left after about a half hour. I'll post pictures of the wounds and the gutter I fell in eventually. I'm obsessively cleaning my wounds because I don't want it to get infected. They're still really gross.
Thanks for reading this really long post, I hope it was as entertaining for you as it was for my leg. I managed to lose 3 pairs of shoes in 3 days, which I think is some kinda of a record. I'll have to look it up. I'm off to buy bandanges and alcohol for my wounds. Keep reading the blog because you know it's only going to get better.
Kurt
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Holy humidity
You know those really hot and humid days in August that suck. It's like that here. All day.
I arrived safely and with all my luggage. The total real time travel was just over 30 hours and the "clock" time was just over 40. You can imagine how pleasant that was. The stewardesses (the longest word you can type with your left hand) on the Sri Lankan airlines were very hot. They all looked like Manjula, Apu's wife from The Simpsons. That helped make the flight better. I watched Life Free or Die Hard and Harry Potter 5 on the flight. I also watched some Scrubs and The Office. It was glorious. If they would have had a 24 marathon, I wouldn't have left.
There are soldiers with automatic weapons pretty common. Two were riding bicycles and looked really funny. Driving around there are a lot of stray dogs and I even saw one tragically adorable stray puppy. I slept in a hotel the first night and got toured around the hospitals today. My placement changed the day I left, so I'm spending one month in Panadura and the rest at the place I outlined earlier. The one hospital was ridiculously crowded and very hot. The other hospital was a women's hospital and was much quieter. There were some rooms with 20 beds right next to each other with pregnant or just delivered women on them. They also had these mini mosquito nets over the newborns. You know in a cartoon when Jerry does something to Tom and then tries to serve him to the dog on a silver platter with a little silver dome over it? That's what the babies looked like under the nets. I start tomorrow in the general medicine ward of the crowded hospital. It should be exciting.
Tonight, the other volunteers (all girls, booyah) and I are going to a tsunami camp to throw a party for these kids they teach. That should be fun. When we're walking around, kids point and laugh at us because we're white. Lisette said they call her "Ooda" or something like that that means "white person". "Let me guess, "white devil, white devil?"
I'm enjoying the air conditioning of the internet cafe right now. Even in here, I haven't stopped sweating since I arrived. I hope America is still great.
-Kurt
I arrived safely and with all my luggage. The total real time travel was just over 30 hours and the "clock" time was just over 40. You can imagine how pleasant that was. The stewardesses (the longest word you can type with your left hand) on the Sri Lankan airlines were very hot. They all looked like Manjula, Apu's wife from The Simpsons. That helped make the flight better. I watched Life Free or Die Hard and Harry Potter 5 on the flight. I also watched some Scrubs and The Office. It was glorious. If they would have had a 24 marathon, I wouldn't have left.
There are soldiers with automatic weapons pretty common. Two were riding bicycles and looked really funny. Driving around there are a lot of stray dogs and I even saw one tragically adorable stray puppy. I slept in a hotel the first night and got toured around the hospitals today. My placement changed the day I left, so I'm spending one month in Panadura and the rest at the place I outlined earlier. The one hospital was ridiculously crowded and very hot. The other hospital was a women's hospital and was much quieter. There were some rooms with 20 beds right next to each other with pregnant or just delivered women on them. They also had these mini mosquito nets over the newborns. You know in a cartoon when Jerry does something to Tom and then tries to serve him to the dog on a silver platter with a little silver dome over it? That's what the babies looked like under the nets. I start tomorrow in the general medicine ward of the crowded hospital. It should be exciting.
Tonight, the other volunteers (all girls, booyah) and I are going to a tsunami camp to throw a party for these kids they teach. That should be fun. When we're walking around, kids point and laugh at us because we're white. Lisette said they call her "Ooda" or something like that that means "white person". "Let me guess, "white devil, white devil?"
I'm enjoying the air conditioning of the internet cafe right now. Even in here, I haven't stopped sweating since I arrived. I hope America is still great.
-Kurt
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Welcome
Hey guys, I'll be writing in here at least once a week to let everyone back home know what's going on with me. Here are some quick facts about my trip:
I leave on October 1st and come back on December 27th.
The flight is 10,000 miles and total flying time is 19 hours 24 minutes.
Sri Lanka is about half the size of Wisconsin, the capitol is Colombo.
The official languages are Sinhala and Tamil, but most people speak English. (Let's hope...)
There is a 10.5 hour time difference between here (Madison) and Sri Lanka. I don't know where the half hour comes in, but I read that they added a half hour for some reason.
The water is not safe to drink unless it has been boiled or is in a sealed bottle.
There's been a civil war going on since the '70s between the Tamils and the Sinhalese. Most of the conflicts are located in the northern part of the country.
I'm staying with a family that can host 5 volunteers.
I have to bring my own toilet paper.
The town I'll be living in is Galle (rhymes with "Gaul") which has a population of 100,000. (source: wikipedia) (I love irony)
I'll be working at Teaching Hospital Karapitiya, which is really big and has almost 1,500 beds.
I'll do a two week rotation at the various department around the hospital.
Some of my personal goals:
See most of the country. (I'll probably stay away from the north)
Buy interesting things.
Make sure I have some ridiculous stories to tell you guys about.
Bring back an elephant egg.
That's all for now. I'll be traveling for over 26 hours starting October 1st. I will have my phone on me in Sri Lanka, but don't call me. I don't know if I'll even have the same number because I'm buying a SIM card there, and I can't even imagine the roaming charges.
-Kurt
I leave on October 1st and come back on December 27th.
The flight is 10,000 miles and total flying time is 19 hours 24 minutes.
Sri Lanka is about half the size of Wisconsin, the capitol is Colombo.
The official languages are Sinhala and Tamil, but most people speak English. (Let's hope...)
There is a 10.5 hour time difference between here (Madison) and Sri Lanka. I don't know where the half hour comes in, but I read that they added a half hour for some reason.
The water is not safe to drink unless it has been boiled or is in a sealed bottle.
There's been a civil war going on since the '70s between the Tamils and the Sinhalese. Most of the conflicts are located in the northern part of the country.
I'm staying with a family that can host 5 volunteers.
I have to bring my own toilet paper.
The town I'll be living in is Galle (rhymes with "Gaul") which has a population of 100,000. (source: wikipedia) (I love irony)
I'll be working at Teaching Hospital Karapitiya, which is really big and has almost 1,500 beds.
I'll do a two week rotation at the various department around the hospital.
Some of my personal goals:
See most of the country. (I'll probably stay away from the north)
Buy interesting things.
Make sure I have some ridiculous stories to tell you guys about.
Bring back an elephant egg.
That's all for now. I'll be traveling for over 26 hours starting October 1st. I will have my phone on me in Sri Lanka, but don't call me. I don't know if I'll even have the same number because I'm buying a SIM card there, and I can't even imagine the roaming charges.
-Kurt
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