I was woken up the other night by two monkeys having sex outside my bedroom in the woods. How am I supposed to chip with that going on?
A few responses to some questions:
Dustin, they put tape on my leg over the cuts, but it never got within a foot of my skin. I actually shaved my leg so I didn't have to scream every time I changed the bandages. The hair that was shaved off was used to clothe 100 orphans.
Craig, I mostly wish I had one more American here to get my jokes, but I just keep making them and hope someone will get the reference.
We went to Hikkadua and Unawatuna this past weekend. The night in Hikkadua was pretty much doom all around, not even the least of which was me almost killing Marieke twice. (Pronounced ma-REE-ka) It was raining a lot and we started drinking semi-early. Before we went out to dinner, I picked up Marieke over my shoulder and was going to pretend to put her out in the rain. Then I slipped on the concrete and fell. I took most of the impact, but she still hit her head. She was shaken up, but there was no need to go to the hospital. After dinner we drank more at the hotel and I did some monkey sex impressions to much applause and horror. We decided to wear sarongs out to the club that night because, why not? There were some guys that met up with us that were really being douchey to me, so I was in a pissy mood. This surprises none of you. At the club, I was still in a pissy mood, but eventually Marieke got me to dance with her. At one point I realized that my sarong was completely around my ankles while we were dancing. It's ok, the women loved it. So we're dancing and everything is fun, but there was a step on the dancefloor leading up to the stage. During one of the American-Dutch spins, she tripped over it and fell. I did catch most of her as I had her hand at the time. But she started freaking out and thought she broke her ankle. I really didn't think it was broken, nor did a bunch of other people (who are certified physical therapists (I'll take The Rapists for 200, Alex)), but Marieke wouldn't listen and kept crying. Eventually, some of the people went to the hospital and had to stay until 9 the next morning when she was sober. Anyway, I left soon after (but not before losing my phone) with two of the new volunteers. We wandered around the streets at 3am looking for our hotel. Oh yeah, Gentle Ben was puking the whole time. (Gentle Ben is a 17 year old volunteer who probably weighs 250. He's like 6'2", so it's not that bad though). We found our home in the end.
We started drinking at 9:30am the next day and stayed drunk pretty much all day. We played soccer on the beach in Unawatuna with some local Sri Lankans. We played skins vs skins. I was in goal, so I helped America look better than usual in the international soccer world. We also went swimming, which I had to wrap my leg in a garbage bag and rolls of tape so I could go in the ocean. It still got wet, but the Arrack helped me not feel anything.
I have some stories about the women's hospital, but I'll have to write those later. Tomorrow is Poya Day (national holiday on the full moon) so we have off work. If this place is open, maybe I'll stop by.
USA! USA! USA!
-Kurt
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2 comments:
I think you are turing into Craig, sorry. I thought random stuff like this only happend to Craig. Also while i was reading your latest blog i thought your reference to almost killing your friend twice was because you could not deal with her any more because she is a very annoying/difficult person. I was very mistaken of course.
What does two monkeys having sex sound like? I wish I was there to make the noise for you. Typing my guess just doesn’t have the same effect. When you say you started drinking “semi-early,” you mean like 2 in the afternoon, right? I like how you said, “She was shaken up, but there was no need to go to the hospital,” as if taking your injured friends to the hospital is something that happens all the time. Then, after you almost give her a concussion, you demolish her ankle, but then tell her not to be a wuss? I’m guessing your phone was in your sarong? Skins vs. Skins? How did you tell who was on what team? :-) Did your skin act as the shiny shirt the goalie normally wears? Keep up the good work!
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